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I Have Six Friends

At any one time in my life, I've got about five or six friends. That's all. Mostly no more, and rarely any less. Six. 1 2 3 4 5 6.

Acquaintances, or hemi-pals, or pals, or "people I know," well, I've got lots of them. More than anyone has friends, that's for sure, and more than many people have acquaintances because they're too quick to lump people into their "friends" category.

This article, published January 28 (can you tell I've been holding onto this for awhile?), says a lot of what I think:

I use the word 'friend' sparingly because I'm from the old school and being a friend means something. It means they get my loyalty, my trust and my support. There's no request they can make of me that I won't consider and generally there are few requests that I would turn down even if it means significant hardship and sacrifice on my part. After all I consider said person a friend and a friend means a lot to me. Of course I expect all that I bestow upon them to be bestowed upon me in return.

Seth is one of my friends. Kelly is one of my friends. Crystal is one of my friends. I have a few others, but I'd rather leave that a bit of a mystery, or the excluded ones will feel badly. They shouldn't - they may be really close to being friends, but would they do anything for me? Would I do anything for them? No. That's a reality of how much time and energy we have as people, as humans. If I had endless energy and time, surely I'd have more friends. As it is, six is about all I can manage without a drop in the "quality of service" I provide to them.

One of the things on my life's to do list is "Marry my best friend. Best female friend, that is." We'll see how that turns out. But I think part of the reason why I'm so able to exist outside of a relationship is because, aside from physical intimacy, I get everything I need from my core five or six friends: companionship, someone to talk to, and so on. I went eighteen years without sex (and various lengths of time after that): I'm in no real rush to get back to that. My emotional needs are met. My intellectual needs are met. I'm happy, I'm comfortable, I'm content, and I'm confident.

Perhaps that's why things with a few certain people are going so well… I just don't feel obligated, I don't feel a need, to rush things along.

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