Peace to all!

I just want to express my anguish on this subject. Why is the process of finding a significant other so fucking difficult?! I mean, for everybody. It takes so much effort because we are all looking for a 'Perfect' partner - and it just doesn't happen.

And why are people so damn mean to each other? Just because a person doesn't look like God's gift doesn't mean that they are any less of a person or that they do not possess any feelings. What gives with this?

Sometimes I wonder if I would rather give up on girls entirely. It is far too much hassle and in the long run, I would rather love myself than end up in a mediocre relationship I don't fully appreciate because I am afraid of being alone.

I am an 18 year-old business studies student and I am extremely self-concious. Naturally, I was born as a very kind-hearted and warming person despite of great trauma that occurred during the early stages of my life. But I am giving up my faith/hope in other people and I actively avoid them where possible because I am AFRAID (as in I sh!t a brick when someone looks at me) of the opinions other people implicit about me. I am afraid to leave my room at times.

I am insecure about everything - my willy, my intelligence, my memory, my appearance, my ability, my sensitive skin, how I compare to everyone else. At university I sit s.h.a.k.i.n.g in a lecture theatre comprising 200 other students. My heart races in the seminars and I can't talk. I haven't befriended anyone because I am afraid to - they probably won't want to know me anyway since I am ugly and all that banter.

I too, get those looks from fecking staring ars@holes (sorry) who sit and frown at me as if I have two heads. What do you want me to do, run and jump off the side of the earth just because you think I look ugly? I would consider ending my life because I am tired of walking through this never-ending nightmare but I know I am far too determined to get to where I want to be and you only get one life.

On a serious note though, I get really depressed at times and the anxiety wears me down so much. I find no colour in the world and my future just appears to be an empty void. I'll never find a person - I will be the last product on the shelf. And that really really hurts me. Losing mummy when I was 4 left me feeling unloved and I still crave the warm maternalistic feelings of affection that weren't emitted.

On the bright side, I have had 3 long-term girlfriends, all three being very pretty. Ha Ha, is it a coincidence that all three consider other factors such as personality, honesty and openness to be more important than looks? My current girlfriend is stunning - she lights up my world when the sun goes down *CHEESE* but people are hurtfully critical about it - "she is with...HIM?!" and "she's so pretty and he's so..." This just adds to the feeling that I will never get to accept myself.

I would just like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their posts because I found them extremely helpful. Seriously, I realise that looks aren't the be all and end all. And even though I have been quite discrete in voicing my opinion it has really helped me to get some things out in the open. I think that everyone here deserves to fall in love.

Lastly, one person mentioned counselling. I would recommend investigating futher as I found it to be very useful. I went through two years of therapy. It works in the same way as you would defragment a computer. You work through past experiences and put them into their correct places. I feel a lot better nowadays. Please reply, all the best everyone, Matt x

For starters, my first impression when reading your response was that you seem to be very intelligent. I cannot see how "normal" jobs would be a problem for you because you can express yourself well and have a good command of idiom. But then again, I do not know the depth of your learning disaibility.

I can relate to you the way you feel ugly and things, because I feel that way - even if all the people in my entire little world say that I am not, that I am attractive. It is so hard to overcome these feelings of worthlessness. Anyway, I hope you find your way through. Matt x

Then go to this site
http://tuvida.aol.com/moda-y-belleza/fotos/stars-without-make-up

I myself don't think im ugly because I've been offered a few male modeling jobs, but there are times when i look in the mirror and think, "Damn, I'm ugly shit!!" But, then I just go back to my high school and that fear just pretty much dissapears. I wouldn't same I'm extremely popular, but I'm not attending chess club meetings either lol. So, yah.

Every guy I have been with always ends up pointing out that I'm ugly. I even had a guy tell me that I look like porky the pig and that I should invest in Clearasil. I cried as I read his e-mail and from that point on I haven't been able to really believe anyone who says I'm anything but ugly. My current boyfriend also makes comments about my skin. He says it doesn't bother him. But just the fact that he has to talk about it lets me know that he finds it disgusting. Guys always make comments about how ugly I am. I haven't met a single man who acually thinks I'm beautiful.

I cry every day about my looks. I put makeup on to hide some of my ugly face. My looks are ruining my relationship because I feel that my boyfriend wants a thin gorgeous girl. And I know he does, because all his ex girlfriends are both thin and gorgeous.

To top it all off, I have the worst personality. People hate me. And it's because I'm not beautiful. So they don't get to know me and I end up resenting them.

I think that the best thing would just be to die. That way I wouldn't have to see my hideous face ever again.

Personally, I've experienced the whole spectrum of emotions mooted in the previous posts.I'm 30 now, can't say I enjoyed my twenties too much but realise that was more my doing than any outside factors. As a teenager I became quite reclusive and sneaky because of a cystic acne problem. All the while I captained a football team and played a number of sports but in the background I became introverted and self critical to an amazing extent. I done quite well in college, had an amazingly beautiful and sincere girlfriend but could never appreciate any of it. My acne left me with some mild scaring that became my obsession. I dumped my girlfriend because of my own insecurities....started seeing another girl.... dumped her. Now I'm quite alone.. alone with my reflection and I hate it. I always have. In the past girls have been quite complementary about my looks but I never believe compliments. Ever.I love and hate mirrors now. Avoid camera's at all cost.

I can't get through feelings of inferiority. It drives me crazy. I constantly compare... feel I'm being judged....feel helpless. I have good days when I think I've finally beaten this and then it bites back.. constantly knawing. I feel vain and mean but always but always useless. My self confidence has disappeared with age.

Its all very well telling people beauty is on the inside but thats not true for someone who feels like this. Rarely does an attractive person bother long enough with the average looking person to appreciate the beauty. Natural selection has seen to that.

I have really bad acne, and i can't even bear looking in the mirror because i'm so goddamn ugly. I caught a glimpse once and my heart sank and i was depressed all day.

I many sound irrational but i now realise i'm not the only one insecure about looks. However looking at it another way you're probably more likely to meet the right person because they like you for who you are not the shallow gits who go for the peroxide, tanned blonde. I also think its worse for girls if they have acne, overweight etc. than boys.

This is all probably irrelevant but just to let you know there are girls out there who are just desperate to meet someone with a GODDAMN SENSE OF HUMOUR. iI'm not sure what guys go for?

Who cares anyway, we all get old and i seriously don't think that unshallow people give a fuck.

The thing I noticed about being a teenager (I've been one for quite a while now, so I can speak authoritatively on the subject) is that a lot of times you can't imagine anyone else going through what you are going through. For the past three years I've been trying to find a way to accept that I'm not good looking. Coming to this page has helped me tremendously in that I now know that I'm not the only one facing such a situation.

My story starts with me a freshman in high school. I never wondered if I was ugly or not, because my belief that god would never screw me over so bad as to make me ugly was securely in place back then. As my high school years progressed, I started to notice that my friends (most of whom are average looking) started getting female attention, while I got . At first I wrote it off as just a fluke, nothing to worry myself about. Fast forward some time, and I got heavily involved with a girl who loved my personality, my sense of humor, my intelligence. She loved me she said- but like a brother, because she would rate me a 5 on a scale of 1-10 in terms of looks.

It was devastating. I couldn't believe that I couldn't be with the girl of my dreams, JUST because I didn't look good. Something that I had no control over! I didn't look in a mirror for the longest time. I was angry at God for making me ugly (still am, although now I realize the irrationality of it, but I can't help it). Eventually I got over the girl, what I didn't get over is wondering how to accept that I was ugly.

Every time I got close to acceptance, in the back of my mind something refuses to lose the fight and go quietly. So a part of me hangs on rationalizing to myself that maybe I'm not really ugly...maybe I'm okay looking. But then something happens and I feel f*cked up again. It's like a roller coaster that someone just shoved me on to. It's so frustrating.

It might sound like I'm fixated on looking good. I'm not. I just want to know that I look good enough so that it doesn't deter anyone who's interested in my personality from being with me.

I wish everyone good luck and hope you all wish me the same.