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Email Signature Quotes

I include a quote in my email signature, and this is the collection. It's fairly big, I suppose, so I used an AppleScript and a quick find/replace in BBEdit to grab the list. The script I used is:

tell application "Microsoft Entourage"
    set blah to content of every signature
    set bar to ""
    repeat with foo in blah
        set bar to bar & foo & return & return
    end repeat
    set the clipboard to bar
end tell


If nobody's going to RTFM why WTFM?

Customer: "I'm running Windows XP." Tech: "Yes." Customer:
"My computer isn't working now." Tech: "Yes, you said that."

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0.

UNIX: Where /sbin/init is Job 1.

There are 10 types of people in this world:
those who understand binary and those who don't.

Is there a proper name for the phenomenon
whereby you make a typo but produce a real world?

There are two great secrets to success in life.
The first is to not tell everything you know.

When choosing between two evils, I like to
choose the one I've never done before.

I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive - The Tick

Whoever dies with the most software, wins. 🙂

Success is baked by a chef named "Obsession" -- Will Smith

There are no such things as stupid questions,
just stupid people that ask questions.

I live in a small house, but my window
looks out on a large world - Confucius

"What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight;
it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Dwight D. Eisenhower

#define QUESTION ( (bb) || !(bb) ) // Shakespeare

Why do we ask rhetorical questions?

Recursive (ri kur' siv): adj. - See recursive.

"Programming is an art form that fights back." - Anonymous

The best things are not always the most popular.
The most popular things are not always the best.

"The gem can not be polished without friction, nor
man perfected without trials." Apple Sales Receipt

Any fool can know. The point is to understand. - Albert Einstein

You know you're a geek when your friends are dating women whose
Web pages say this: The purpose of this page is to provide students
with a closer look at the implementation of a pipelined processor.

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

"Adults are obsolete children." - Dr. Seuss (1904-1991)

Life is like a box of chocolates - Sometimes you run across a nut.

Rules? We don't have rules. We're trying to accomplish something!

I have no regrets. Only intelligent observations about my past.

I have no life. Do you think I could find one on Google?

I just try to be the person my dog thinks I am.

Some people's minds are like cement:
all mixed up and permanently set.

Mac OS X: "Because making Unix user
friendly was easier than debugging Windows"

"There are only 3 colors, 10 digits, 26 letters, 7 notes
and 118 elements; its what we do with them that's important."

Life is a mistake. As with all mistakes, you'd be best advised
to learn from it and make the best of it - Lewis Carroll.

Life is what happens to you while
you're making other plans - John Lennon

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex -
no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

God created the universe in six days because
he didn't have to worry about an installed base.

I am an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac.
I stay up all night wondering if there is a dog.

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

'"Hello World" - 12 errors, 31 warnings'

Home is where you hang your @

Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him
the Internet and he won't bother you for weeks.

If you don't know where you're going
You will probably not end up there.

"Maybe fun is just fragments of existence with
Better packaging." - Apple CEO Steve Jobs, 1983

"The flu ate my bran." - typo courtesy of Daria Miano

HANDLE WITH CARE: This email contains small electrically-charged
particles moving at speeds of over 500,000,000 miles per hour.

"I have enough trouble overcoming my own limitations without
fretting over the fact that God has not seen fit to distribute
evenly the gift of intelligence" - John Wanamaker

We are all born originals; why is it so many
of us die copies? Edward Young, poet (1683-1765)

If death doesn't get you, life probably will. -- Lewis Carroll

I don't need time. What I need is a deadline. - Duke Ellington

The people who are crazy enough to think they
can change the world are the ones who do.

War never determine who right. War determine who left.- Confuscious

In C, one has to write his own bugs. In C++, one can inherit them.

I'm not brain dead. I'm
electroencephalographically challenged. 🙂

"It ain't braggin' if you can do it."
-- Dizzy Dean, 1930's baseball player

"Black holes are where God divided by zero." - Steven Wright

As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual
certainty, and I thirsted for a meaningful vision of human life -
so I became a scientist. This is like becoming an archbishop so you
can meet girls. -- Matt Cartmill, anthropology professor and author

You don't truly understand something until
you can argue it from both sides of the fence.

99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs,
fix one bug, compile it again...
101 little bugs in the code.

1 + 1 = 3; // for large values of 1

3 Responses to "Email Signature Quotes"

  1. hahaha. some of those are very amusing. my favorites:

    99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs,

    fix one bug, compile it again...

    101 little bugs in the code.

    It ain't braggin' if you can do it.

    Mac OS X: "Because making Unix user

    friendly was easier than debugging Windows"

    very nice list. i approve 🙂

  2. The one I liked most:

    I have no life. Do you think I could find one on Google?

    My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading." - Steve Jobs

  3. one love


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