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Britney Spears on Female Masturbation

brit_gold.jpgAs I was driving somewhere today, half-listening to the ol' iPod, I heard one of Britney's new songs, and it sounded a bit… "personal." Is she singing about female masturbation? Yes, by jolly, it seems she is.

When I arrived at my destination, people who'd seen her interview with Diane Sawyer confirmed my suspicions: that Britney Spears masturbates (or at least sings about it). They told me that she brought the topic up herself - without any prompting from Diane - and said "everyone does it, and if they say they don't they're lying. It's a sacred thing."

As if just thinking of Britney Spears wasn't enough, we now "get" to hear her singing about waxing the flesh taco.*

I'm not ashamed of the things that I dream
I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene
Into the unknown, I will be bold
I'm going to the places I can be out of control

And I don't want to explain tonight
All the things I've tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I'll teach myself to fly

I love myself
It's not a sin
I can't control what's happenin'

'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand…

From the small of my back and the arch of my feet
Lately I've been noticing the beautiful, oh, me
I'm all in my skin and I'm not gonna wait
Commence on myself in the most precious way

And I don't want to explain tonight
All the things I've tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I'll teach myself to fly

'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand

There's a world undefined
In my body and mind
I won't be left behind
I'm already here

'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand

'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah

* I asked a female friend if there were any slang terms for female masturbation, and she said she didn't know any. So, here you go, I made one up for myself.

57 Responses to "Britney Spears on Female Masturbation"

  1. "Waxing the flesh taco"? That's fuckin' classic, dude!

  2. I thought American Pie popularized the term "double clicking your mouse."

    I do like your coined term, however.

  3. 'Darling Nikki' for a new age. And isn't waxing the flesh taco a grooming task? 'Punching the little man in the boat', now that's something else...

  4. The best I have ever heard are "flicking the bean" and "paddling the pink canoe." Waxing the flesh taco is ok, but I am willing to bet that she, in fact, WAX the flesh taco. It is well publicized that the other Mouseketeer does, so I am sure Brit Brit is trying to "keep up."

  5. She Bop by Cyndi Lauper was about female masturbation, too.

  6. Throwing my hat into the ring with:

    Jilling off.

  7. Umm... my friend Elt always called it "bushwhacking." If that's not almost perfect I don't know what is.

  8. of course ALL GIRLS masturbate!!!

  9. fingerbation;

    most grls do it

    those who don't wish they could get this kind of orgasm

  10. Haha....waxing the flesh taco? Whoot!

    Guys: Masturbation (master-bation)

    Girls: Mistressbation

    I'm going for fist-f**king.

  11. Here in Italy also my best (female) friends have never admitted that they do it... in southern Italy, above all, it's still a total taboo. But in italian, there's a slang: "farsi un ditalino" (to do to oneself a little finger-thimble).

    Ciao!

  12. i love this song!!! it is about time that it is ok for girls to not be ashamed of masturbating. Whoever came up with "jilling off" thats a pretty damn good one. Go Britney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  13. Euphemism for female masturbation...

    Voting For Bush

  14. well if you looked like brit does you could have any guy in the world (that was stright) i think that it is good that she has found that her hand is a awesome tool that can do things most guys cant she is very beautiful and all of you wish she was singing about your hand.

  15. waxin the flesh taco is pretty good here ya go how about "splittin the hatchit wound"

  16. stiring the troff

  17. In a sentence:

    (So were you "Pokin' the cat") cause they always say pussy so...

    (Have you ever tried "Using the bun without the sausage") cause..u noe..yea

    (Are you just goin' into your room for a "self serve") like the drinks n stuff

  18. I love britney, and im a girl, the fact that she caressess her pink canoe just makes my own bean go crazy, i love "jilling off", as a matter of fact i have my own website at http://www.gurltouchez.com and its all about your smell on me baby!! GO BRITNEY DO IT !!

    GO U.S.A! BLESS AL GORE!

  19. Also, i´d like to mention how all your bullshit american icons are just making the whole world pretty sick. Britney Spears as well as almost all your "singers" are a product of too much comercial and imperialism, you people are deranged, you sell sex on tv and then start bombing down iraq, your bullshit capitalist system is not as flawless as you thing it is, "america" (which i personally do not know why you call america, its the USA) will one day go down the drain

  20. Rubbin' the nub. Hey Pat, we call it America because we are Americans, also known as North Americans, the country is also known as the United States of America, it was named America by our founding "Forefathers",who discovered this land, need any more reasons why we call it America? (the land of the free and home of the brave I might add!) Are you saying it's not the United Kingdom, but the U.K.? Great Britain, England, what is their "correct" names for their homelands???? YOU ONLY WISH YOU LIVED IN AMERICA!!!!!!! ( I apoligize for getting way off the subject, but "Pat" pissed me off!!! )....................rowing the boat.

  21. Hey Bill, you big fat dumbass ITS NOT CALLED AMERICA THE CONTINENT IS CALLED AMERICA......GRINGO HUEVON TODOS SON IGUAL DE SUPERFICIALES E IMBECILES

  22. oh man that's sexy

  23. Not to throw any kind of science into this, but current Kinsey Institute estimates range that about 68% of women have masturbated by the time they are 18, and by middle-age about 85%+ (don't remember the exact number) would have done it.

    I'm not sure on numbers on regular masturbaters, but this is interesting nonetheless, doncha think?

    J

  24. I like most "erasing the problem"

  25. i have a message for all who have something against americans... somos los mejores en todo, y siempre lo seremos. es hecho.

  26. I have so many thoughts about the subject of masturbation. I personally masturbate (mostly to britney spears pictures). I think britney doing it is sexy/kinky and I think it kind of sucks at the same time, mostly about the fact that she admited to it. To me it's like if I were to see her nude, it sort of would make her not as hot or whatever. I personally think she is the hottest woman in the world and I would give up my virginity to her no matter what(im only 16) and after that I would never have sex agian otherwise im just going to wait for marriage.~~~~~~~~ by the way on a movie I saw it was called "Pink Taco" and you could just say "she admits to waking it"

  27. um. Brintey Spears wrote a frikin' song about feeling herself up. I love her. love. love. - Matt

  28. Britney's repulsive and now on more then 1 level. Congrats

  29. LOL Pat is funny *sigh communist*....but anyway half the girls that i talk to admit to "waxing the flesh taco" I think itz coo, I take that back I think itz SEXY!!!!

  30. How can Pat say "GO USA" in one post, then say how much he hates americans in the next ?? It's all so confusing.

    Anyway, Britney is hot, want that ass so bad.

    Itscoo she .... masturbates.

  31. who cares,,,andits not a bad message ,,for girls either,,cuz its safer,,than getting pregnant,,leave the girl alone, damn,..let her do what she want,,and stop trippin' about it

  32. Highlights include:

    "Dialing 0 on the little pink telephone"

    "Punching the chipmunk"

    "Bailing the Gravy Boat"

    "Spearing the Skunk Guts"

  33. CAN I SEE U PERSONALLY BRITNEY NAKED! I'LL LIKE TO LICK UR BREASTS AND UR PUSSY! I'M SURE U WONT REGRET ME! I'M D HOTTEST GUY HERE IN RAC DEPARTMENT IN MSU-IIT, ILIGAN CITY, PHILIPPINES. I LIVE IN LUINAB ILIGAN CITY AND ALSO FROM TUBOD BAROI. I'M THE HOTTEST GUY HERE AND I'M SURE U WONT REGRET HAVING SEX WITH ME!

  34. holy shit a political conversation sprung from britney spears muff massaging....clever guys clever

  35. I can tell u that i've certainly "choked the chicken" thanks to britney. (P.S. America is named after a european explorer not the founding fathers who also did not discover America. If you ignore the native americans who have been living there since the last ice age, Viking and Chinese explorers discoverd it centuries before columbus 'discovered' it)Los británicos son los mejores y estarán siempre

  36. I do agree that brintney is just more manufactured, Talentless american crap but god bless america anway. To use a wonderfull term i found on another site, "I'm ejaculating just thinking about her". Don't we all.

    P.S. Although women masturbating is hot they kinda got the raw end of the deal. Having a penis and balls rule, however i do envy multiple orgasms

  37. i just came across this site and i kind of think britney spears is ugly, ive seen those pictures of her on the beach and she looks pretty tubby HAHAHAHAH

  38. bet u still have ur hand down ur pants when she on though

  39. three knuckle shuffle.

  40. I call it "fluffing my kitty"...MEOW!!!

  41. heh...I have one I came up with after walking by a car with some woman doing that...IN THE PARKING LOT OF MY APARTMENT COMPLEX!!!

    checking the vaginal oil

  42. WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK. JUST A MINUTE AGO I HAD AN ORGASM WHILE WANKING ON BRITNEY PICTURES. I AM 15 YEARS OF AGE, AND THE FIRST WANKS I HAD WERE WHILE WATCHING " I'M A SLAVE FOR YOU". I WOULD GIVE HER CUMSHOTS AND IF I COULD I WOULD FUCK HER, EVEN IF THEY PUT ME INTO JAIL FOR IT. AT LEAST I HAVE FUCKED BRITNEY....writing this makes me horny again, i'll get out my cock and wank AGAIN::::::

  43. I'M PRESENTLY A STUDENT FROM MINDANAO SANITARIUM AND HOSPITAL, ILIGAN CITY. I'M A REFRIGERATION AND AIR CONDITIONING ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY GRADUATE FROM MSU-ILIGAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY(MSU-IIT). IF U WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME, I'M SURE U WON'T REGRET. U KNOW BRITNEY, I'M A HUNK WHO JOINS MR. SET CONTEST AT MSU-IIT AND WON AND BECOME ONE OF THE CANDIDATES FOR MR. PALAKASAN ALSO AT MSU-IIT. I ALSO SUSSESSFULLY HAVE WORKOUTS EVERY TIME IAM VACANT AND I ALSO HAVE A SEX APPEAL FOR GIRLS AROUND ME. I EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHO ONCE DONT LIKE HAVING BOYFRIENDS BUT SHE CANNOT RESIST ME AND SO SHE BECAME MY BOYFRIEND. THAT PROVES HOW APPEALING IAM AND I'M SURE IF U SEE MY MUSCULAR BODY AND MY HUGE DICK U CANNOT RESIST ME, BRITNEY SPEARS! I'LL LICK UP UR PUSSY CLEAN AND I'LL FUCK U UP TILL U SATISIED! IF U LIKE ME, HERE'S MY CELLPHONE NUMBER, 09267677256. OK! I'M WAITING FOR U! LUV U!

  44. Pres. Willis and derek are sad fuckers who need to get a life. Britney masturbates so who cares?

  45. Ummm...who cares? She masturbates, oh well. Who doesn't? Ya'll need to brow up and get a life, especially the idiots who are comin' on here and sayin they just masturbated and stuff. You people are lame.

  46. I normally hump my pillow to masturbate. So I don't think there's a slang term for that. I just know it's a real turn on to pretend the pillow is another woman's pussy mound, when I'm masturbating against it!

  47. It is called "diddling."

  48. Err...for all you idiots advertising to Britney: "I'LL LICK UP UR PUSSY CLEAN AND I'LL FUCK U UP TILL U SATISIED! IF U LIKE ME, HERE'S MY CELLPHONE NUMBER, 09267677256. OK! I'M WAITING FOR U! LUV U!" as well as a few other dipshits-She's never gonna see your fuckin' comments! Let alone your fucking face! She probably doesn't even know this site exists! Save that shit for a chick you can actually catch!

    And I'm not surprised Brit masturbates...I mean come on! She can't get and hold onto a good guy to save her life (or a girl)! Look at the "K-Fed" disaster!

  49. i masterterbate to britney for hours and when i'm done i do it it all over agan!.

  50. 😀 who dose'nt do it if not ur missing out this time guys ye do it 2 so now we do it for ourslfes right xxxxxxxxx ever heard of DIY GET IT

  51. Britney Spears sucks.

    I should know (nudge nudge know what you mean know what you mean say no more say no more)! :mrgreen:

    Seriously though, she's a bad singer, a bad slut and a bad waste of my oxygen (well, not mine personally, since I live all the way off in Australia [yes, there really are Australians out there!]).

    She's not THAT hot, either... I mean, there are girls at my school hotter than her (by a LONG shot)... 'Cept they make up the 25% or whatever that don't masturbate. Seriously, they're more frigid than a frozen plank welded to an iron pole...

  52. Gabe said on November 14, 2003:

    "Waxing the flesh taco"? That's fuckin' classic, dude!

    Yeah Right, lol. How original!

  53. She's fingerbanging herself while men across America want
    to be with her!?! 🙁 That's an outrage...It's like throwing
    way food while Ethopians are starving!

    Besides, unless her spine is as flexible as a slinky, she
    can't give herself the tongue-lashing that I could provide! :mrgreen:

  54. Dude I just came, and here's a good name for hotties jacking off. polising the Poodle or Clapping your clit.

  55. Pat said on January 13, 2004:

    Also, i�d like to mention how all your bullshit american icons are just making the whole world pretty sick. Britney Spears as well as almost all your "singers" are a product of too much comercial and imperialism, you people are deranged, you sell sex on tv and then start bombing down iraq, your bullshit capitalist system is not as flawless as you thing it is, "america" (which i personally do not know why you call america, its the USA) will one day go down the drain

    It is absolutely hilarious that you are making political commentary on a Britney Spears article. Anyways, since you are railing against Capitalism the only other option is Communism. Which doesn't work. So good luck with that.

  56. Playing the 'clitar' is the best I've heard.


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