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Bush, George W.

GEORGE W. BUSH RÉSUMÉ

I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol.

I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days.

My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

MILITARY:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL.

I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use.

By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975.

I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took and used taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our right-wing friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union.

During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market.

In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history.

My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution.

More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history.

I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

I set the record for fewest number of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.

After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation.

I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in war time.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq, then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

31 Responses to "Bush, George W."

  1. Bush, George W.

    George W. Bush Résumé. Pretty convincing. Just for the record: I'm not anti-american....

  2. Bush, George W.

    GEORGE W. BUSH RÉSUMÉ [via NSLog();] We should be so proud of our president, the first in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record. He's broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history, withdrew the U.S. f...

  3. Interesting resume. Which Democrat candidate would be the best successor to GWB?

  4. Way to leave a name. I don't know. Maybe "almost anyone"?

  5. I found something similar on punkvoter.com

  6. That is a great rundown of W's so called accomplishments in office and an even better comentary on his so called character. As someone who has been unemployed for eight months now I can't wait to vote in November and show what I think of the neocon agenda.

  7. Erik, I like Howard Dean best. Matthew Hinton, is it someone else's fault that you can't get a job, or is it your own?

  8. Mr. Nameless:

    No, it is most likely *not* Matthew's fault. In case you haven't noticed, we still have a horrible economy, and loads of smart, talented people are jobless or underemployed.

  9. I liked that resumé... I'd really love it if there was a site that listed the sources for all that information so I could show it to some friends.

    I think that asking which Dem candidate would be the best replacement for Bush is an important question that should be taken seriously, so I'm ask it again for nameless up there and leave my name.

    There is a good chance that Bush will be ousted this year, so picking the right Dem is crucial, don't you think?

  10. Buzz, if it's the president's fault that our economy lacks job opportunities for "smart, talented people," what could this president (or any president) do to create jobs? Before you answer, you might want to brush up on your knowledge of the constitution, and the powers of the executive branch. I ask this question not in rhetorical defense of president Bush, but instead to point out the absurdity of the premise that the U.S. president is responsible for the U.S. economy.

  11. So, No Name... do you really believe what you just wrote? Do you believe that the President, as head of the executive branch, really just goes after criminals? His entire job is to sit and watch security cameras? You'd have to be an idiot to miss the fact that the President submits "economic stimulus packages", the federal budget, requests for funds, and other things that have a massive impact on the economy. Your argument is like saying the captain has no responsibility for beaching a ship simply because he wasn't at the wheel. The captain's actions make a direct impact on the course of the ship and the President's agenda directly affects the economy. Bush is responsible for the actions he took, against the advice of many economists, but notably Alan Greenspan, that set this country's economy back. The lack of jobs is not coincidence.

  12. Fine, you're right, the president submits a federal budget to Congress. And, yes, after Congress approves it (and perhaps changes it significantly), money is appropriated for federal programs and federal employees are paid. I suppose such federal bureaucrat jobs are therefore the result of the president's actions.

    But if anyone believes that the contents of presidential budgets or so-called "economic stimulus packages" have anything to do with the creation or deletion of jobs, you're kidding yourself. People who get up early in the morning, study hard, work hard, and apply themselves get jobs (or create them), and the federal government HAS NOTHING to do with it.

  13. In some ways better than my own resume - isn't America the place of second chances? It must be seeing as we've elected him and that other draft dodger that's currently diddling interns in Harlem.

    I can't believe the democrats would continue to bring character into debate after the prime candidates that they've put in front of the world.

  14. Randy,

    The majority of that list had absolutely 0 to do with character. Did you even read all the FACTS about Bush's horrible diplomatic, financial, and social blunders which has brought us to where we were today? Can you tell me with a straight face that we're better off today than we were 4 years ago?

  15. The Democrats bring up character to show that the Republicans are just as short on character as everyone else

    . Say what you will about Clinton screwing his interns, the fact of the matter is that that is the ONLY thing conservatives have on Clinton. What the Democrats have on Bush is his ability to screw everything up. Every Bush apologist says the same thing, "Well, Clinton and Monica Lewinsky..." Please, save that rhetoric for someone who's willing to buy it or come up with something worthwhile for the discussion.

    Also, world leaders respected Clinton-- they don't feel the same for Bush who acts like a big bully pushing his agenda on the world.

  16. Gabe, I think you go too far to say that Clinton's only blemish was Monica Lewinsky. Presidents don't have the authority to contribute that much to our domestic affairs (e.g. economic health) with the exception of federal regulatory agency oversight (such as EPA, FCC, etc.) But presidents are empowered to do a lot in the areas of international trade, foreign affairs, intelligence and defense. Clinton's ineptitude ferreting out Al Qaeda (after the first attacks on the WTC) and other terrorists (he even refused to take custody of Osama when the Saudis offered him), his delivery of missile technology to China, his legitimization of Arafat and the Palestinians, and his botched handling of the conflict in Kosovo were major foreign affairs blunders. That leaves out his impeachment for perjury and the out-of-court settlement of a sexual harrassment case against him.

  17. Nameless:

    I didn't make any statement about *whose* fault it was. I was merely reacting to your implication that it is *Matthew's* fault he is unemployed. My point is that there are a lot of deserving people who are without jobs right now, and to say that they're all in that situation because of their own intransigence or something is ridiculous. I spent a painful amount of time unemployed after *I* graduated from college, so it really tends to annoy me when people make unemployed people feel like that. It's a hard enough experience as it is.

  18. Nameless writes: "his delivery of missile technology to China"

    Are you referring to the investigation in which the investigating FBI agent was unethically sleeping with a key source, a GOP-supporting woman (big fundraiser) from China with many ties to the Chinese government?

  19. Jon H, I'm referring to Clinton's documented close association with Loral's chairman and Clinton's decision to give export authority to the Commerce Department (instead of State Dept. or Pentagon) for the purpose of helping Loral sell our secret missile technology to China. Speaking of the Chinese, who could forget John Huang, Chinese agent and illegal donor to Clinton, who was hired by Clinton to work in the White House?

  20. Buzz, okay, you want me to believe that if a person can't get a job, it's not his fault. You would have me believe it's the president's fault? Oh, now I see the light. And if I don't make as much money as I want, it's the president's fault! And if I'm overweight from eating too many Big Macs, it's the president's fault! And if I can't get a date, it's the president's fault! Come on, American people, wake up and take some responsibility for yourselves, and stop blaming everybody else.

  21. The Saudis never offered Osama to the Clinton administration. It was an offer made by a single person who the clinton administration deemed untrustworthy.

    As for fighting terror, Clinton's anti-terrorism chief delivered a plan during the closing months of the Administration which Clinton's staff duly delivered to Bush's incoming team with the clear message from senior clinton officials stating that Bush would spend more time on terrorism than on any other national security issue. See Time magazine.

    Sujal

  22. Figured I might as well add my essay of uninformed opinions...

    Does anybody want to comment on the fact that the economy hit the high point during Clinton's presidency? High point means that it started turning down while he was in office. We were already headed for a recession.

    Perhaps we should also adress the "lost by 50,000 votes" and maybe learn a lesson about the electoral college. It's a flawed system designed by big states in the early days of the country, but even more important than the system is playing by the rules that were set. We can't change the rules in the middle just because we didn't like the outcome. I don't see anybody trying to change them now, but they probably will whine about it the next time a president wins by a close margin.

    Now, I don't disagree with the majority of the points (they are, after all, facts). I do, however, think that he's getting a bad rap because he's not smooth with the media like Clinton was. I never said that I wanted him as a president, but I want to see a strong Democrat candidate that does something other than whine about the current presidency.

    Oh, and yes, it is entirely possible these days to not be able to find a job. I was searching for a job this past summer, and every single job I applied for had about 15 other people applying, too... I'm glad I'm going to school again now, so I at least can get a job as a TA.

  23. Oh, and I'm sick of people making inflammatory remarks and not even having the balls to put their name on them. If you think you're *so* right, then stand by your words.

  24. One of the problems with unemployment is that people are often unwilling to be underemployed for on a short-term basis. I think that pride kinda comes into play here.

    There are probably enough attainable jobs available, but generally people have some level of aversion to being underemployed.

    I disagree with the notion that employment is entirely the President's responsibility. He is certainly a contributing factor -- no doubt, but there are plenty of economic factors involved, and even a shitty President can luck into presiding over a good economy (this is not a Clinton slam -- I respect him) and vice versa.

    Historically, economies have gone through cycles.

    We have just gotten off of a very long, ovehyped and overplayed growth period, so it should be expected that we take a few years at some point to have things level off. This probably would have even happened if big C had reigned for a third term.

    (Note: I am by no means a Bush apologist. I too am disgusted by his overspending, his poor diplomacy, his poor choice of friends, his unspoken secrecy policies, his disrespect for others, ....long list...)

  25. Nameless:

    Are you willfully ignoring what I'm saying? When, in all of my comments, have I said that the economy is Bush's fault? Answer: never. I wouldn't have even commented in this post if I hadn't seen you lay into an unemployed person who probably feels bad enough as it is.

    Our economy is a complicated thing, and no one person can be said to have all the responsibility for it. I *am* a bit concerned about our levels of deficit spending, as is the rest of the world, truth be told. But, no, to answer your concerns: I AM NOT BLAMING BUSH FOR MATTHEW'S UNEMPLOYMENT!

  26. Bush, George W.

    GEORGE W.

  27. Buzz, forgive me for presuming that in this, ostensibly a thread about the president's deficiencies, some aspect of your post had something to do with Mr. Bush. You do speak out of both sides of your mouth, though, supposedly "NOT BLAMING BUSH," but also expressing "concern about our levels of deficit spending," by which I presume you are implicating Mr. Bush in particular if not the federal government in general. Having exposed your unwillingness to justify your assertions (if not your hypocrisy), I now grow bored with our exchanges. I will in closing, though, concede your point: I do now "willfully ignor[e] what [you're] saying." In this, my last post, therefore, I offer you a fond farewell, my good man!

  28. Nameless:

    Your problem is that for you everything has to be a strictly binary proposition: the bad economy either has to be solely Bush's fault, or it has to be solely somebody else's fault. Matthew's unemployment either has to be solely his own fault, or solely Bush's fault. What you call "talking out of both sides of my mouth" is what I call recognizing the subtleties of the situation. I actually *agree* with you that there is only so much a president can do to influence the economy, and that Bush inherited an economy that was already bad. That doesn't mean I can't disagree with some of Bush's economic decisions, though.

  29. Ya forgot something:

    I showed those filthy terrorist rats they couldn't quite be the biggest disaster of the new century. Fuck you guys, you're #2. And you fuckers died, too.

  30. I think its great that you all waste the time to come to this site to knock on our president, that man whom we the public elected through fair process. I think you all see to forget the fact of the many times over his torturous 8- year term, that Ol' Clinton had several times to take Osams bin Laden into U.S. custody,an offer made by Sudan. I also remeber that He refused every time, a supposed "my hands are clean act", if you will. Notice that the time period of these offers were after the fact of the first world trade center bombing. And you call Bush a "monkey." At least he as not given up the pursuit of the man who is an internationally wanted terrorist, who, as i remeber, killed more than 3,00 americans on sept. 11, 2001? And you have the guts to sit here and bitch about what our president does, when he is trying to stop more bloodshed? and about the war in iraq, you must realize that the only possible way to stop the bloodshed is to shed some of your own blood. Think about that when you go to vote.

  31. Convicted of Drunk Driving, and Lied to Cover It Up

    George Bush now admits that he was convicted of drunk driving. On September 4, 1976, a state trooper saw Bush's car swerve onto the shoulder, then back onto the road. [The Bush camp spin that he was driving too slowly is simply a lie.] Bush failed a road sobriety test and blew a .10 blood alcohol, plead guilty, and was fined and had his driver's license suspended. His spokesman says that he had drunk "several beers" at a local bar before the arrest. Bush was 30 at the time. He now says that he stopped drinking when he turned 40 because it was a problem.

    More troubling, Bush lied in denying such an arrest, and still won't take responsibility for his actions. His first reaction was to blame Democrats and Fox News -- the only openly conservative TV network -- for reporting the story. "Why [was this reported] now, four days before the election? I've got my suspicions." He refused to say what his suspicions are, though. Bush admits covering up the story, but seems to think he has no responsibility for the failure of his cover up.

    In fact, just like Clinton with Monica Lewinsky, Bush has brazenly and repeatedly lied to cover up and minimize this arrest.


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