Britney Spears on Female Masturbation
Posted November 14th, 2003 @ 06:53pm by Erik J. Barzeski
As I was driving somewhere today, half-listening to the ol' iPod, I heard one of Britney's new songs, and it sounded a bit… "personal." Is she singing about female masturbation? Yes, by jolly, it seems she is.
When I arrived at my destination, people who'd seen her interview with Diane Sawyer confirmed my suspicions: that Britney Spears masturbates (or at least sings about it). They told me that she brought the topic up herself - without any prompting from Diane - and said "everyone does it, and if they say they don't they're lying. It's a sacred thing."
As if just thinking of Britney Spears wasn't enough, we now "get" to hear her singing about waxing the flesh taco.*
I'm not ashamed of the things that I dream
I find myself flirting with the verge of obscene
Into the unknown, I will be bold
I'm going to the places I can be out of control
And I don't want to explain tonight
All the things I've tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I'll teach myself to fly
I love myself
It's not a sin
I can't control what's happenin'
'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand…
From the small of my back and the arch of my feet
Lately I've been noticing the beautiful, oh, me
I'm all in my skin and I'm not gonna wait
Commence on myself in the most precious way
And I don't want to explain tonight
All the things I've tried to hide
I shut myself out from the world so I
Can draw the blinds and I'll teach myself to fly
'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand
There's a world undefined
In my body and mind
I won't be left behind
I'm already here
'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand
'Cause I've just discovered
Imagination's taking over
Another day without a lover
The more I come to understand
The touch of my hand
Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, yeah
Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah
* I asked a female friend if there were any slang terms for female masturbation, and she said she didn't know any. So, here you go, I made one up for myself.
Donate Life
Posted 14 Nov 2003 at 7:47pm #
"Waxing the flesh taco"? That's fuckin' classic, dude!
Posted 14 Nov 2003 at 8:43pm #
I thought American Pie popularized the term "double clicking your mouse."
I do like your coined term, however.
Posted 14 Nov 2003 at 8:56pm #
'Darling Nikki' for a new age. And isn't waxing the flesh taco a grooming task? 'Punching the little man in the boat', now that's something else...
Posted 14 Nov 2003 at 9:44pm #
The best I have ever heard are "flicking the bean" and "paddling the pink canoe." Waxing the flesh taco is ok, but I am willing to bet that she, in fact, WAX the flesh taco. It is well publicized that the other Mouseketeer does, so I am sure Brit Brit is trying to "keep up."
Posted 14 Nov 2003 at 9:49pm #
She Bop by Cyndi Lauper was about female masturbation, too.
Posted 15 Nov 2003 at 2:05am #
Throwing my hat into the ring with:
Jilling off.
Posted 15 Nov 2003 at 7:33pm #
Umm... my friend Elt always called it "bushwhacking." If that's not almost perfect I don't know what is.
Posted 28 Nov 2003 at 5:52am #
of course ALL GIRLS masturbate!!!
Posted 28 Nov 2003 at 10:01am #
fingerbation;
most grls do it
those who don't wish they could get this kind of orgasm
Posted 01 Dec 2003 at 12:47am #
Haha....waxing the flesh taco? Whoot!
Guys: Masturbation (master-bation)
Girls: Mistressbation
I'm going for fist-f**king.
Posted 01 Jan 2004 at 11:31am #
Here in Italy also my best (female) friends have never admitted that they do it... in southern Italy, above all, it's still a total taboo. But in italian, there's a slang: "farsi un ditalino" (to do to oneself a little finger-thimble).
Ciao!
Posted 02 Jan 2004 at 4:28pm #
i love this song!!! it is about time that it is ok for girls to not be ashamed of masturbating. Whoever came up with "jilling off" thats a pretty damn good one. Go Britney!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 02 Jan 2004 at 6:02pm #
Euphemism for female masturbation...
Voting For Bush
Posted 03 Jan 2004 at 5:36am #
well if you looked like brit does you could have any guy in the world (that was stright) i think that it is good that she has found that her hand is a awesome tool that can do things most guys cant she is very beautiful and all of you wish she was singing about your hand.
Posted 03 Jan 2004 at 5:40am #
waxin the flesh taco is pretty good here ya go how about "splittin the hatchit wound"
Posted 09 Jan 2004 at 3:02pm #
stiring the troff
Posted 12 Jan 2004 at 9:43pm #
In a sentence:
(So were you "Pokin' the cat") cause they always say pussy so...
(Have you ever tried "Using the bun without the sausage") cause..u noe..yea
(Are you just goin' into your room for a "self serve") like the drinks n stuff
Posted 13 Jan 2004 at 3:23am #
I love britney, and im a girl, the fact that she caressess her pink canoe just makes my own bean go crazy, i love "jilling off", as a matter of fact i have my own website at http://www.gurltouchez.com and its all about your smell on me baby!! GO BRITNEY DO IT !!
GO U.S.A! BLESS AL GORE!
Posted 13 Jan 2004 at 3:28am #
Also, i´d like to mention how all your bullshit american icons are just making the whole world pretty sick. Britney Spears as well as almost all your "singers" are a product of too much comercial and imperialism, you people are deranged, you sell sex on tv and then start bombing down iraq, your bullshit capitalist system is not as flawless as you thing it is, "america" (which i personally do not know why you call america, its the USA) will one day go down the drain
Posted 14 Jan 2004 at 3:10pm #
Rubbin' the nub. Hey Pat, we call it America because we are Americans, also known as North Americans, the country is also known as the United States of America, it was named America by our founding "Forefathers",who discovered this land, need any more reasons why we call it America? (the land of the free and home of the brave I might add!) Are you saying it's not the United Kingdom, but the U.K.? Great Britain, England, what is their "correct" names for their homelands???? YOU ONLY WISH YOU LIVED IN AMERICA!!!!!!! ( I apoligize for getting way off the subject, but "Pat" pissed me off!!! )....................rowing the boat.
Posted 19 Jan 2004 at 6:43pm #
Hey Bill, you big fat dumbass ITS NOT CALLED AMERICA THE CONTINENT IS CALLED AMERICA......GRINGO HUEVON TODOS SON IGUAL DE SUPERFICIALES E IMBECILES
Posted 21 Jan 2004 at 2:02pm #
oh man that's sexy
Posted 03 Feb 2004 at 1:16am #
Not to throw any kind of science into this, but current Kinsey Institute estimates range that about 68% of women have masturbated by the time they are 18, and by middle-age about 85%+ (don't remember the exact number) would have done it.
I'm not sure on numbers on regular masturbaters, but this is interesting nonetheless, doncha think?
J
Posted 04 Feb 2004 at 8:47am #
I like most "erasing the problem"
Posted 16 Feb 2004 at 4:35pm #
i have a message for all who have something against americans... somos los mejores en todo, y siempre lo seremos. es hecho.
Posted 26 Feb 2004 at 8:07pm #
I have so many thoughts about the subject of masturbation. I personally masturbate (mostly to britney spears pictures). I think britney doing it is sexy/kinky and I think it kind of sucks at the same time, mostly about the fact that she admited to it. To me it's like if I were to see her nude, it sort of would make her not as hot or whatever. I personally think she is the hottest woman in the world and I would give up my virginity to her no matter what(im only 16) and after that I would never have sex agian otherwise im just going to wait for marriage.~~~~~~~~ by the way on a movie I saw it was called "Pink Taco" and you could just say "she admits to waking it"
Posted 04 Mar 2004 at 10:17am #
um. Brintey Spears wrote a frikin' song about feeling herself up. I love her. love. love. - Matt
Posted 08 Mar 2004 at 4:08pm #
Britney's repulsive and now on more then 1 level. Congrats
Posted 10 Mar 2004 at 3:50am #
LOL Pat is funny *sigh communist*....but anyway half the girls that i talk to admit to "waxing the flesh taco" I think itz coo, I take that back I think itz SEXY!!!!
Posted 17 Mar 2004 at 1:15pm #
How can Pat say "GO USA" in one post, then say how much he hates americans in the next ?? It's all so confusing.
Anyway, Britney is hot, want that ass so bad.
Itscoo she .... masturbates.
Posted 23 Mar 2004 at 8:13pm #
who cares,,,andits not a bad message ,,for girls either,,cuz its safer,,than getting pregnant,,leave the girl alone, damn,..let her do what she want,,and stop trippin' about it
Posted 04 Apr 2004 at 12:55am #
Highlights include:
"Dialing 0 on the little pink telephone"
"Punching the chipmunk"
"Bailing the Gravy Boat"
"Spearing the Skunk Guts"
Posted 04 Apr 2004 at 4:45am #
CAN I SEE U PERSONALLY BRITNEY NAKED! I'LL LIKE TO LICK UR BREASTS AND UR PUSSY! I'M SURE U WONT REGRET ME! I'M D HOTTEST GUY HERE IN RAC DEPARTMENT IN MSU-IIT, ILIGAN CITY, PHILIPPINES. I LIVE IN LUINAB ILIGAN CITY AND ALSO FROM TUBOD BAROI. I'M THE HOTTEST GUY HERE AND I'M SURE U WONT REGRET HAVING SEX WITH ME!
Posted 10 Apr 2004 at 12:42am #
http://www.marxidad.com/masturbation/Female
Posted 27 Apr 2004 at 4:36am #
holy shit a political conversation sprung from britney spears muff massaging....clever guys clever
Posted 30 Apr 2004 at 7:28pm #
I can tell u that i've certainly "choked the chicken" thanks to britney. (P.S. America is named after a european explorer not the founding fathers who also did not discover America. If you ignore the native americans who have been living there since the last ice age, Viking and Chinese explorers discoverd it centuries before columbus 'discovered' it)Los británicos son los mejores y estarán siempre
Posted 30 Apr 2004 at 7:42pm #
I do agree that brintney is just more manufactured, Talentless american crap but god bless america anway. To use a wonderfull term i found on another site, "I'm ejaculating just thinking about her". Don't we all.
P.S. Although women masturbating is hot they kinda got the raw end of the deal. Having a penis and balls rule, however i do envy multiple orgasms
Posted 08 Jun 2004 at 2:55am #
i just came across this site and i kind of think britney spears is ugly, ive seen those pictures of her on the beach and she looks pretty tubby HAHAHAHAH
Posted 09 Jun 2004 at 6:31pm #
bet u still have ur hand down ur pants when she on though
Posted 05 Jul 2004 at 5:08pm #
three knuckle shuffle.
Posted 22 Oct 2004 at 2:23am #
I call it "fluffing my kitty"...MEOW!!!
Posted 16 Nov 2004 at 7:20am #
heh...I have one I came up with after walking by a car with some woman doing that...IN THE PARKING LOT OF MY APARTMENT COMPLEX!!!
checking the vaginal oil
Posted 07 Dec 2004 at 1:25pm #
WANK WANK WANK WANK WANK. JUST A MINUTE AGO I HAD AN ORGASM WHILE WANKING ON BRITNEY PICTURES. I AM 15 YEARS OF AGE, AND THE FIRST WANKS I HAD WERE WHILE WATCHING " I'M A SLAVE FOR YOU". I WOULD GIVE HER CUMSHOTS AND IF I COULD I WOULD FUCK HER, EVEN IF THEY PUT ME INTO JAIL FOR IT. AT LEAST I HAVE FUCKED BRITNEY....writing this makes me horny again, i'll get out my cock and wank AGAIN::::::
Posted 03 Jan 2005 at 7:54am #
I'M PRESENTLY A STUDENT FROM MINDANAO SANITARIUM AND HOSPITAL, ILIGAN CITY. I'M A REFRIGERATION AND AIR CONDITIONING ENGINEERING TECHNOLOGY GRADUATE FROM MSU-ILIGAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY(MSU-IIT). IF U WILL HAVE SEX WITH ME, I'M SURE U WON'T REGRET. U KNOW BRITNEY, I'M A HUNK WHO JOINS MR. SET CONTEST AT MSU-IIT AND WON AND BECOME ONE OF THE CANDIDATES FOR MR. PALAKASAN ALSO AT MSU-IIT. I ALSO SUSSESSFULLY HAVE WORKOUTS EVERY TIME IAM VACANT AND I ALSO HAVE A SEX APPEAL FOR GIRLS AROUND ME. I EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND WHO ONCE DONT LIKE HAVING BOYFRIENDS BUT SHE CANNOT RESIST ME AND SO SHE BECAME MY BOYFRIEND. THAT PROVES HOW APPEALING IAM AND I'M SURE IF U SEE MY MUSCULAR BODY AND MY HUGE DICK U CANNOT RESIST ME, BRITNEY SPEARS! I'LL LICK UP UR PUSSY CLEAN AND I'LL FUCK U UP TILL U SATISIED! IF U LIKE ME, HERE'S MY CELLPHONE NUMBER, 09267677256. OK! I'M WAITING FOR U! LUV U!
Posted 28 Jan 2005 at 11:45pm #
Pres. Willis and derek are sad fuckers who need to get a life. Britney masturbates so who cares?
Posted 21 Apr 2005 at 9:51pm #
Ummm...who cares? She masturbates, oh well. Who doesn't? Ya'll need to brow up and get a life, especially the idiots who are comin' on here and sayin they just masturbated and stuff. You people are lame.
Posted 07 Dec 2006 at 1:53am #
I normally hump my pillow to masturbate. So I don't think there's a slang term for that. I just know it's a real turn on to pretend the pillow is another woman's pussy mound, when I'm masturbating against it!
Posted 22 Dec 2006 at 11:54pm #
It is called "diddling."
Posted 05 Jan 2007 at 1:22am #
Err...for all you idiots advertising to Britney: "I'LL LICK UP UR PUSSY CLEAN AND I'LL FUCK U UP TILL U SATISIED! IF U LIKE ME, HERE'S MY CELLPHONE NUMBER, 09267677256. OK! I'M WAITING FOR U! LUV U!" as well as a few other dipshits-She's never gonna see your fuckin' comments! Let alone your fucking face! She probably doesn't even know this site exists! Save that shit for a chick you can actually catch!
And I'm not surprised Brit masturbates...I mean come on! She can't get and hold onto a good guy to save her life (or a girl)! Look at the "K-Fed" disaster!
Posted 10 Jan 2007 at 10:33am #
i masterterbate to britney for hours and when i'm done i do it it all over agan!.
Posted 17 Feb 2007 at 4:28am #
Posted 07 Apr 2007 at 6:53am #
Britney Spears sucks.
I should know (nudge nudge know what you mean know what you mean say no more say no more)!
Seriously though, she's a bad singer, a bad slut and a bad waste of my oxygen (well, not mine personally, since I live all the way off in Australia [yes, there really are Australians out there!]).
She's not THAT hot, either... I mean, there are girls at my school hotter than her (by a LONG shot)... 'Cept they make up the 25% or whatever that don't masturbate. Seriously, they're more frigid than a frozen plank welded to an iron pole...
Posted 28 Apr 2007 at 7:42pm #
Gabe said on November 14, 2003:
Yeah Right, lol. How original!
Posted 19 Jun 2007 at 5:25am #
She's fingerbanging herself while men across America want
That's an outrage...It's like throwing
to be with her!?!
way food while Ethopians are starving!
Besides, unless her spine is as flexible as a slinky, she
can't give herself the tongue-lashing that I could provide!
Posted 17 Aug 2007 at 6:17pm #
Dude I just came, and here's a good name for hotties jacking off. polising the Poodle or Clapping your clit.
Posted 27 Jan 2008 at 2:55pm #
Pat said on January 13, 2004:
It is absolutely hilarious that you are making political commentary on a Britney Spears article. Anyways, since you are railing against Capitalism the only other option is Communism. Which doesn't work. So good luck with that.