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Guy 1: What do I do if my wife leaves me because of me fishing too much !!!!!! Guy 2: If she does, that will leave even more time for fishing. Problem solved. Guy 3: Dude, use your brain, who is going to clean your fish. Give her some shopping money and send her to [...]

Shiver me timbers, matey! September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day. I guess I'll have to brush up on my vocabulary and find me some buxsom beauties with which to share some booty. Or something like that… Arrrrr!

I don't care for beer much, but I bet that the jet-powered beer cooler could easily be adapted to suit my Coca-Cola cravings…

In light of recent comments about Madonna and Britney's lame publicity stunt, I present to you two pieces of evidence to support my position that camel toes are indeed funny stuff… Edit (May 31, 2011): As these links no longer go to their original sites, I've removed them. And Jamie has likely matured since this [...]

Uhmmmm… Saut Chin, 46, was fed up with physical abuse from her husband when she grabbed his testicles until he passed out in the incident Tuesday, the Rasmei Kampuchea (Light of Cambodia) newspaper reported. … The exact cause of Ouch Yan's death was not known. Funny that the guy's name is "Ouch," don't'cha think? P.S. [...]

Sometimes, when I'm bored or relaxing, I like to read the personals on match.com, Yahoo! Personals, eMode Matchmaking, etc. Occasionally you come across a gem like this: where do i start...im 18 years old 5'2" 105pds very athletic; brown hair green/hasel eyes. i enjoy pritty much anything surfing,or bodyboarding at the beach, working out, running [...]

I am apparently one nasty fuck. And here I would have thought that honor would belong to Roseanne Barr or something…

There's a strip near where I live that features two short sections of road (broken up by stoplights) and a longer third. Tonight, at the start of the first section, I pulled up (in my Aztek mind you) next to a guy and a girl in a Mustang. I nodded, then proceeded to floor it [...]

Call me a jackass (no, really), but I love it when rich people act like children. It somehow makes the world seem a bit more fair. "It's the billionaires fighting the millionaires," Jennings says. "The haves vs. the have-mores -- fun for the press," La Costa Beach homeowner Jodi Siegler says. The debate? Whether - [...]

Two things I learned today: You can not ship pornographic movies to the state of Florida (and a few other states). Sex and the City is pornography. In other words, I attempted to pre-order an entire collection of Sex and the City DVDs and was told by the DVD site (I won't say which) that [...]

Erik: But like I said, it's fun to be alone too sometimes. Friend: Well, I'm alone 90% of the time, I know what it's like. Erik: I'm in a sappy mood tonight man as well, I could use a girl around sometimes. Erik: I'm alone just as much, you know that. Erik: Get a dog. [...]

This is too good to pass up. It's an interview with Intel VP Pat Gelsinger. Here are some good quotes. If you're a fan of grammar, well, prepare to wince.

I have no idea what this is, but I can tell you that Fred and Victoria are both involved, as are a bunch of skimpy bikinis and power tools.

When oh when will I be able to look at something like this and not chuckle to myself? Hopefully never.

I kid you not. Updates to my blog in the next few days will now be non-existent. Gotta do as much preventative medicine as possible. Anyone willing to contribute good porn (for my health, dammit!!!) should send care packages to…