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The English plainly reads:
Wash with warm water
Use mild soap
Dry flat
Do not use bleach
Do not dry in the dryer
Do not iron
The French portion contains an extra section. Translated, it reads:
We are sorry that
our President is an idiot
We did not vote for him.
Neither did I… This tag is on a laptop case, and the original story is [...]

So, gMail accounts are still widely coveted? I have one to give away. Who wants it? For what? Seriously, for what? Email me at it: erikjb is the username. You can figure out the rest.
I expect this to go over really well.

Too good not to keep for posterity, this one:
me: i removed the accounts of anyone i deemed unfit to continue beta testing
me: if you'd like to file a complaint, you may do so with our board of advisors
me: which includes and is chaired by me, the only member.
betatester: and how do I file said complaint?
I'll [...]

Scott was trying out an early alpha/beta build of PulpFiction and what did he see? Funny stuff.

From a conversation I had today:
erik: do you see a page or an error?
andy: nope
erik: do you see a page xor an error?
Friends always look at me oddly when they say "do you want to see a movie or go out to eat?" and I reply "yes." I try to explain to them what the [...]

Stupid people are great. Without stupid people, we wouldn't have these:
On a Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."
Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
The shoplifter special?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like [...]

At least he's got a sense of humor.

Too good not to post. Plus I don't go to work until 5 today.

José makes a funny:
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him…

…a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I kid you not, from http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/01/20040123-2.html
Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling.

Ugh. Double ugh. Triple ugh. Quadruple ugh. Let's hope the ugh doesn't extend four more years.

One side of a phone support conversation:
press command-R… yes, no, the one beside the space bar
no, not in the Finder
no, the trackpad
the thing above the button
near the latch
you move your finger around on it
next to the space bar
it has an apple on it
no, not the Finder!
click
no, not with the trackpad
the thing near the latch above [...]

A spam slipped through my spam filter(s) today. You can see it to the right. What did I notice? No, not that "yourafuckingasshole.com" is probably not the correct TO: address, but rather that the domain name is grammatically poor.
Grrrrr. I'm not sure whether I'm more annoyed by the fact that it got through, the fact [...]

Poker in the front. Liquor in the back.

You know those streaky, puffy clouds left by airplanes? Bet you thought they were harmless, huh? Apparently they're not! They're called "chemtrails" and they're actually government spy planes spraying us with chemicals!
Uh huh.
The page is funny, largely because the people on it are so stupid, gullible, or fanatical that you just know you couldn't win [...]

File this under "I'm listing this for myself." And, to spare you, I'm putting it in the extended entry…

When I discovered that you could control the ducks in Duck Hunt with the second controller, my dad never beat me again. I'd sit quietly, the controller subtly nestled between my legs as I sat Indian style "awaiting my turn." Ahhhh, memories. Thanks Mike.