Dating Beautiful People
Posted March 24th, 2004 @ 11:49pm by Erik J. Barzeski
I had a hot date tonight. That having been said, I mentioned to a friend at 11:20 that I'd had time to watch West Wing after the date. In other words, it didn't go so well.
She was happy to have found someone who was intelligent, motivated, and funny. I was bored nearly to tears. What is it about overly beautiful ((No, clearly not all "overly beautiful" people are dull imbeciles. It just seems like it sometimes.)) people that make them so completely boring? Perhaps they don't have to work at getting and keeping attention, so they never develop certain skills. I lose interest in dull people quickly, but tonight had to be a record. She asked me if I was going to kiss her at the end of the evening, and I made up an excuse about having celery stuck in my teeth.
I never eat celery.
No doubt she'll think I'm playing some kind of game and call, or get mad at me for rebuffing her, or who knows what. Either way my hand is played, and dammit, it was not good just to get out. I'd have had more fun doing laundry.
On the flip side, I called Laurie's cell phone today while she was at work. I aimed for 12:30 even though she takes her lunches at her desk, and left a message. If she doesn't call back tomorrow, well, I'll give it one more try. She would certainly not be a date I'd want to end early: she's already shown herself quite capable of intelligent conversation. And she's got looks. Ahhhh, brunettes…
I picked up three things for her today, as she'd mentioned she wanted to be a writer: a big spiral-bound notebook (unlined, of course - lines are oppressing!), a copy of On Writing Well, and a "pocket muse" book that tries to spark creativity. Why I tend to do these kinds of things I don't know, but, I've learned to live with who I am, so someday someone else might as well. 🙂
Donate Life
Posted 24 Mar 2004 at 11:55pm #
Zinsser's book is a great choice. I learned a lot from it when I read it. Actually, I should probably reread it since my writing skills have taken a turn south in the past few years.
Posted 25 Mar 2004 at 3:44am #
Hey, at least you're not dating the girl of your dreams (good-looking, nice, intelligent) for a while, only to be told "You're a nice guy, but..."
Posted 25 Mar 2004 at 6:48am #
Come one, surely you can kiss boring people too, especially overly beautiful ones? What are you? Christian?
Posted 25 Mar 2004 at 10:46am #
Why is the inverse so painfully true as well? I had a great date with a fantastic girl who, unfortunately, wasn't so easy on the eyes. Most of the good-looking young women I meet are, as you say, pretty dull - and the ones who aren't are taken. Goddamnit.
Posted 25 Mar 2004 at 11:46am #
I'm a fan of simple beauty. The kind that looks good in the morning, without makeup, in sweats. I don't need glitz and glamour, but I need someone who's active (usually this = thin and fit), intelligent (glasses are a turn on, baby!), and has a sense of humor.
Ever create a character in a video game? For example, in a hockey game you have 500 points to dole out. Give your player 100 for speed and shooting and he may have to take a 5 for fighting and a 40 for checking. Perhaps life is like that. Some people have the cheat codes and get 90+ for everything, and some people seem to accept the defaults of 40 for everything with 200 points left over, but nearly everyone else seems to have had their 500 points doled out fully and in different areas.
Posted 26 Mar 2004 at 5:40pm #
I totally agree with Erik's "500 point" example...
Posted 27 Mar 2004 at 2:54pm #
Somewhere, some hot girl is writing an article in her blog entitled, "Dating Unattractive, Arrogant, Pinheads."
Posted 27 Mar 2004 at 6:38pm #
You got a date with a hot girl, Jim? Good for you.
Posted 27 Mar 2004 at 11:16pm #
Well, I'm married to a hot lady, so no dates right now. Have you no compunction about bashing a young lady here in this public forum? I'm pretty amazed. You must really be something special.
Posted 27 Mar 2004 at 11:50pm #
Jim, you've got a warped sense of reality. Go away.
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 12:13am #
Erik, *I* have a warped sense of reality? In your reality, you're the most important, most interesting, brightest, most desirable guy around. I'm just basing that on your recent posts in general, this post in particular. Don't you think the young lady on your "date" would be mortified to read what you wrote here? Are her feelings and her dignity disposable to you because she didn't interest you?
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 9:25am #
Yes, Jim, you do. You've said worse things about me in two comments than I said about her.
If you feel that I believe that I'm the "most important, most interesting, brightest, most desirable guy around," you clearly don't know me at all.
Take the advice I gave you in the previous comment: go away. If your sole reasons for commenting here are to antagonize, torment, or simply say rude or belittling things, then I'm sure you can find more productive things to do with your time.
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 12:33pm #
Point taken. I don't know you. But I read your post, which leaves the unmistakeable impression that you are (1) bored "to tears" by "dull" people (thereby leaving the impression that you are quite interesting yourself), (2) you chose to share publicly a story about celery which would be totally humiliating to the young lady, and (3) you predict that she'll be eagerly anticipating your next call (meaning you expect people to like you even when you treat them poorly). How could one read this post and not get the impression that you're full of yourself?
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 12:36pm #
You must be really good-looking yourself to be so interested in good-looking girls.
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 7:33pm #
Linda: I'm not interested in good looking girls. I'm interested in interesting girls.
Jim: a longer response here. 1: Logically, being bored by someone does not mean you yourself aren't boring. I'm a geek - to many people we're a rather dull class. However, we are also capable of discussing a pretty broad range of topics quite intelligently. Either way, you've got no point here. It's an opinion. She was dull to me. So what?
2: The story about celery would be humiliating if I'd named her. As it stands now, it's merely something that would piss her off. So what? My sole purpose in life is not "to not piss people off." And, given the 0.00005% chance she'll see this and put 2 and 2 together, I think I'm pretty safe.
3: I anticipate that she's awaiting my return call because I anticipate that she's awaiting my return call. I didn't treat her poorly on the date. Aside from trying to end the date quickly, I was, as I am with everyone in person, quite pleasant.
Jim, this is my blog. You don't have to read it. I'm honest with myself here, and if you were actually one of my friends, you'd understand that I'm both one of the most compassionate people you'll ever meet and one of the most honest. The two don't need to be exclusive of each other. The woman was a ditz. Why should I, on my blog, bother to couch that in any other way? Why "be nice" about it? That'd be lying.
I despise people that tell white lies all the time just to "be nice." Fuck nice - I want to know where I stand in the world, and my friends expect nothing less from me than that (and I of them).
As I've said before, Jim: you don't like what you read here, don't read here. You're not going to change me Jim, and even if you were able to, you really wouldn't have a clue that you had based on the 0.0000001% of my life that ends up here on a blog.
Posted 28 Mar 2004 at 11:41pm #
I feel very sorry for you.
You're so proud of yourself for your honesty, but you're missing a very important point. Refraining from mentioning something is entirely compatible with honesty. Is it so dishonest to refrain from insulting a recent date in a public forum, even if she were a "ditz"? Why not just keep those characterizations out of public fora? (By the way, omitting her name only protects her from people she doesn't know or care about... her friends who know about your date would readily ascertain that the "date" mentioned in your post was she.)
I hesitate to get too philosophical here, but you are a little confused as to the inferences made by the very existence of your blog and the comment tools provided therein. You say, "this is *my* blog" and if "you don't like what you read, don't read here." Well, Erik, why do publish a blog if not for others to read it? And why provide the mechanisms for anyone on earth to respond to your posts if not to have them respond? Ponder that.
Finally, you've said, you "despise people that tell white lies all the time just to 'be nice'". Well, for someone who prizes brutal honesty, you're pretty unwilling to receive the honest truth if you disagree with it. Truth: You're quite full of yourself.
Posted 29 Mar 2004 at 8:06am #
Jim, go away. You're wrong about nearly everything and you disagree with me, so just save yourself the trouble and go away.
It's dishonest to my life experience and memory to not mention it on my blog. It deserved mentioning. That, in a nutshell, is your answer. The longer one: none of my friends knew her.
Why publish a blog if it's not for others to read? Because that's my prerogative, Jim. I publish this blog for myself. I leave comments open for friends.
Now fuck off or you will be blocked from posting. Not because you disagree with me, but because your opinions are baseless.
Posted 29 Mar 2004 at 10:38pm #
Well, for a computer guy, your concept of logic is pretty unrefined. You publish a blog because it's your "prerogative" and "it's not for others to read"? How does that work? My four-year-old would wonder why you don't just keep it off the web if you don't want others to read it.
I hope you have a very honest life experience. That's the most important thing, right?!! Do whatever is best for you. It's all about you.
Posted 30 Mar 2004 at 2:23am #
Go away.
Posted 03 May 2004 at 2:09pm #
When I find my woman one day, I will eat her up, suck on their clits, clean and dry. When she cum all over my face, is when I'm satisfied.
Of course, I'll then love her forvever, give her whatever she wants, treat her as my queen, and share with her whatever is important to me.
Posted 06 Oct 2005 at 5:01pm #
Wow, reading the exchange between Jim and Erik was way more interesting than Erik's original post! Erik, was that your first hot date?
Posted 06 Oct 2005 at 6:09pm #
At this point, I can't even remember the gal with whom I had this date, and I've given it some serious thought. Hmm…
Posted 24 Oct 2005 at 10:30pm #
Beautiful people tend to seem to be that sometimes: dumb. But only because we don't try to get to know them. Going out with them more than once may give you an idea of what she really is, only then can you try to judge them. You'll never know she may be the person you're looking for, your dream mate.
Posted 13 Mar 2007 at 7:13pm #
Erik, if she didnt interest you, than why would you call her??
As a woman i would consider that playing games, and i do believe what goes around comes around.....perhaps she felt sorry for you and wanted to boost your ego by giving you a kiss....us woman are known for doing crazy thngs just to make some guy feel good about himself, like (kissing a guy on the first date) and then again women have also had there desperate moments when they kiss a guy because they dont want to be lonely.. Your story made you seem arrogant, and perhaps that is not the case but maybe you should take a look at all sides before you make such harsh judgements of people. Beautiful people can be boring,,,yes....but so can physically unattractive people. A boring person has nothing to do with beauty or ugliness. Bottom line.
Posted 13 Mar 2007 at 7:53pm #
[quote comment="40037"]Erik, if she didnt interest you, than why would you call her??[/quote]
I never said I would. She seemed to like me, though (I no longer have much memory of this date and am going by what I wrote). I never told her I'd call her. So I'll have to disagree that I was playing games.
[quote comment="40037"]Beautiful people can be boring,,,yes....but so can physically unattractive people. A boring person has nothing to do with beauty or ugliness. Bottom line.[/quote]
I agree that ugly people can be boring. Pair me up with a NASCAR fan and I'm probably the most boring person in the world to them.
And I never said beauty had anything to do with attractiveness. Just that the two traits seemed to have an inverse relationship much of the time, particularly among the gorgeous.
Posted 16 Apr 2007 at 2:44am #
Not all beautiful people are boring and stupid. That is such an unfair stereotype. I have been told by friends and family that I should do modelling, but I think its so superficial. Everyone judges me by the way I look, and not who I am. I never wear make-up, or spend 3 hours getting ready, because people already judge me by my looks, so why should I draw more attention to myself. I love 4WDing and swimming and talking to people, and just having fun. But when it comes to girls, most of them just brush me off, and don't want anything to do with me, and guys rarely come and talk to me. I've been told its because they are intimidated, and I think how unfair that is, because you can't help the way you look. So not all beautiful people are boring and not interesting. Maybe you should make more of an effort to get to know someone before you make such judgements.
By the way Erik, is your nationality polish??