NSLog();

Olivia Newton-John looks better now than she did in the 80s. Wasn't this supposed to be disco week? What the hell? How the heck is country-rock supposed to fit into American Idol? I hate this. I hate twang, I hate it hate it hate it.

I'm tempted to simply not comment like Nick but then I would miss out on my chance to make fun of people. Can't be doing that now can I?

Joshua was terrible. Annie, my country-music-lovin' friend hated his performance. She said she heard him sucking wind, not keeping up, and that he should have picked a slower song. Talk about one that shows off almost no singing ability - he may as well have rapped this song. I give him a -8.

Gosh I hate twang. Joshua is all twang. I hope he goes away really, really, really soon. Ugh. I hate them for doing this country week. At least he picked a country-rock song, though, unlike nearly everyone who follows.

Trenyce does okay, but, well, this ain't country rock. She doesn't hit those lower notes very well, and should have picked a song that stressed her upper register more. She looks like she's working pretty hard, and this could hurt her in the end. I give this a 6.

Kimberley is up next and she too picks a ballad - not country rock, now is it Kimberley? Shouldn't people get punished in some way for not sticking to the theme? If you're really bad at disco, what's to stop you from choosing a ballad that week? America might like your song choice fine - who enforces the rules? Nobody seems to have done so this week. More thoughts on this at the end… Kimberley's gotten better every week and I give this a 7.

Corey sucks. And he didn't really choose a country rock song either. Ugh. Not a good song for him, but then again every song he does he seems to butcher in his own way. The judges liked it, I did not. Whatever: 4.

Carmen should have done better with her country song. At least she picked country rock. She has some pitch problems and it's annoying. Her voice almost cracks like a pubescent boy a few times. Anyway, she should have shined this week with country and her twanging, yodeling voice, but she didn't. I give her a 6 for looking cuter than Josh.

Rickey doesn't even sound like he's singing the right song. His voice annoys me. It's not Brian McKnight - it's a poor ripoff. Let me ask again: how the fuck is this country rock? Rickey, you get a -193. Go away.

Kimberly (the blonde, no extra e) looks great this week. That will help her. She keeps singing like she could sing better. She's yet to really bust one out. She shows moments of greatness, but they quickly pass and each of her performances is just "so so." Still better than most, but she needs to step it up in the next few weeks to break the top 5. I give 'er a 6.

Ruben sings a song in which he has to repeat one phrase a few times as Nick points out. He looked like a stage act this week, not an American Idol. I give him a 5.

Julia, girl, you're not Faith Hill. Do not pick a recent song by someone who can sing if you can't equal it. You didn't equal it. You didn't equal Faith Hill singing through fourteen layers of styrofoam. You get a -32.

Clay sings the same song every week doesn't he? How the hell is this song country rock? Clay, man, you're letting me down. Sing a different song!!! I wonder if he's going to fall when he has to sing a faster song, because these ballads and held notes may suit him, but he's yet to do anything different. For choosing the same damn song, Clay, you get a 4, bitch.

Who should go? Rickey, Corey, Julia, Joshua, in that order or something similar. Congrats to Kimberley again for pulling herself up from the bottom.

Now, on to my thoughts re: the rules. Who enforces them? How many of these songs tonight could have been called "country-rock"? 3 maybe?

Here's how I think the show should work: judges assign percentages to contestants, and they're multiplied by the number of call-in votes to determine their score each week. If Rickey is given a 50% by the judges and Kimberley is given a 75%, but Kimberley gets 5 million votes and Rickey gets 6 million, Kimberley would score higher.

As it stands right now, the opinions of the judges matter for squat. The contestants may try to pick things out to improve from week to week, but the audience - has kept people in that shouldn't be in. The judge's opinion matters for next to nothing.

Plus, judges could take points off for not sticking to the damn theme. About 9 people could have stood to lose 5% or so just for picking lame-ass ballads during "country-rock" week. What's going to stop Clay from singing another Michael Bolton or Elton John ballad - the only kind of song he seems to sing - next week during the real disco week (assuming they don't preempt it for, oh, country ballad week)?

Riddle me that, joker.

Comments RSS