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Ed Chooses Carol

Ed chose Carol. Frankie, sorry, this makes two sitcoms on which you've been dumped. Jeremy had enough of your craziness on Sports Night and Ed had to go with his heart on, uhhhh, Ed. Will I be kicked out of the Strong Male Union™ for admitting that tonight's episode put me in a pretty mushy feeling? Bah, fuggit. The sensitive guys get all the girls anyway.

The very, very few people with whom I'd most want to spend moments like this are all currently very far away. Currently my "romantic life" is on hold a bit while things settle down. I have plans, but I'm not really taking them anywhere for a bunch of reasons. But hey, I'm in a mushy mood, so here's a little diatribe on a few things.

My friend Lisa - great gal, great ass, bright but hasn't yet found what she wants to do - is 21 and is soon - very soon - to marry a 37-year old. I've got no problem with an age difference, but I do have a problem with the way she's treated. A month before their wedding and the guy still can't make any time for her. She never, never sounds happy. She's called me to, well, to satisfy certain things that her man should be doing for her (I'm 1400 miles away, so no, not in person).

I have no vested interest in dating Lisa, but I do in wanting to see her happy, and the path she's on now is certainly not the best, as far as I can tell. I'm not her, and she's bright as I said, but it's tough to give her the benefit of the doubt when she just never seems happy.

So I'm faced with this: how much do I push her? How much, how often, do I mention the fact that she should really think about calling off the whole thing? I've pointed out that she doesn't seem happy, I've pointed out that she doesn't seem happy. I've done it a few times. I've told myself that I'm done, and that I won't keep doing it, but every time I talk to her I hear her voice, I hear her longing to be treated properly, respected, made happy. Would it kill him to fucking dote on her even for an hour?

She won't ditch me. She hasn't even gotten mad at me yet. But there comes a limit, I realize, when I'm just telling her she's not going to be happy sounds like sour grapes or just plain harping. I would rather not get to that point. But I'd really rather not see her get hurt, either. Interesting situation.

Kate, whom I started to fall for when she visited last May, has come back into my life in a pretty big way lately. Easily the most attractive woman I've ever kissed (except for the smoking thing, ick!), and an interesting gal with a lot going on, she kind of freaked out when I visited her the week after she visited me. We'd formed quite a relationship long distance before meeting up (yeah yeah, say what you will about "Internet relationships"), and the way she treated me hurt.

We talked about it briefly, recently, and she told me she wasn't sure what she was thinking back then. She told me that even though it's been a year (a year in which we kept in touch except for the month-ago 1.5-month radio silence), I'm still her closest male friend. She said she had feelings for me too, and that they scared her. She hadn't wanted a boyfriend back then, and she may not now. I'm six hours away as well, further complicating things.

I intend to see her sometime soon, expecting nothing more than to spend some time with a friend, but that may be easier said than done: it may be tough to deny that there are stronger feelings than friendship present, and to act on them. Is that what's best, given the distance? I don't know. I don't want to have feelings, express them, and then return to a life without them again. I like to tease myself, but I don't like to torture myself.

Crystal, naked weekend Crystal, who's always remained a friend and nothing more, hasn't called in a few weeks. She's swamped, swamped, swamped with schoolwork, struggling like crazy. I told her when we last talked that I was going to give her space, let her get her work done, but be here if she needed me. She's the type who feels as though she's imposing if she calls to whine, and so I left her a message last night. She's not reading this, but if she was, Crystal, you're a smart, sexy, aggressive and ambitious young woman. You'll do fine, and the bad passes quickly. The other side of the river is another two strokes away.

Okay, now actually I just wrote that and it made me call her. Crystal's doing better than I thought. She's got a certification test tomorrow, a lot of work next week, and then she's in the clear for awhile. She's got until June 20 to do some classes, then she's going to teach for a year. She might even teach in Palm Beach or Cocoa Beach! Yay! I'm happy. I'll get to see her more often than I have lately (I haven't since September 2001, actually). Yay. 🙂

Gotta cut this one a bit short. I talked to Crystal for a few hours and now I'm going to veg out. I'll write more mushy stuff another day.

6 Responses to "Ed Chooses Carol"

  1. I could never write such personal things in a blog. Do those people you wrote about not care about what you are writing about their personal lives?

    Just wondering. Even if I could write such personal stuff, I always try to keep my blog away from touching on my friend's lives.

    Re: Lisa. Talk to her again, and then give her space for a while. How long is it until the wedding day? Give her half that time, mention it again. Once it gets really close to her wedding, though, you may want to leave it alone. She obviously sees something in this guy if she is marrying him, right?

  2. you gotta leave subtle hints with her. thats how i got my friend to dump her asshole boyfriend.

  3. Wait...what about that other girl. I sort of got the impression that you were going out with her.

  4. Etan, I don't use anyone's last names and I don't share anything they wouldn't share with anyone. None of you even know where Lisa lives, other than "1400 miles away from me." Crystal, same thing. And so on. In short, I don't think I've given anything away.

    Just to be safe, I email anyone if they're ever written about and make sure it's okay with them. Or I read what I've written before I post it (as I did with Crystal here - who frankly got a kick out of the fact that I've referred to her as "naked weekend Crystal" every time I've written about her).

    And re: Lisa, I've given her all the hints and flat-out "you should leave this guy, he's not right for you, and he doesn't make time for you or make you happy" that I can. If she's going to marry him, she's going to marry him.

    Steven, what other girl? There's one I've been spending a loooot of time with lately, but things haven't moved beyond a very close friendship. I'd say "yet" but that'd imply that I think they might some day, and I don't know where things are going.

    Howsat? 🙂

  5. You know, some of us haven't seen the Ed season finale yet, and spoiling it for us in the title of your entry wasn't very nice. I was looking forward to finding a nice quiet hour sometime next weekend in which I could enjoy yesterday's episode. Thanks for ruining it.

    I know you don't know me, and you have no particular reason to care, but I'm annoyed enough right now that I'm going to stop reading your weblog, maybe for good.

  6. In an article I titled Ed Chooses Carol, the title of which gives away the Ed season finale, Alexei took objection to my practice:...


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