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Possibilities Again

The first two times I wrote about the girl I'm seeing1 were here and here. Upon re-reading those entries, it seems as though my subconscious was sneaking out to express some desire to indeed forge more than a friendship with this gal, though in such a way that my conscious mind would let it pass as "I think we have the chance to be great friends."

As I type this, I'm having a fairly scatterbrained day, and wasn't the best of company at dinner tonight. However, I'm as content and happy as I have been in a few years. I've got a new person to care for, and one who cares for me. It's an awesome feeling. New relationships are somewhat like baby birds: they're a miracle of nature and the potential for soaring is amazing, but you've got to be careful or you'll squish them.

My grandma's advice? "Don't mess it up." Thanks for the boost, grandma! :-O

When I'm confronted with something, I tend to assume the worst. Suppose there's a moderate chance I'll win some contest. I tend to assume that I won't win. That way, when I don't win, I don't feel terribly disappointed. If I do win, I'm elated. I apply this method of thinking to all sorts of things in my life, and I jokingly refer to this as not pessimism, but "realism."

The funny thing about new relationships is that I am a complete optimist. I meet someone I'm into, and I have daydreams of wise cracking with that person on a porch when I'm 80. That's why my conscious mind let entries called "Possibilties" and " Continuing Possibilities" slip by - it's not out of the norm for me to consider every new relationship to have awesome possibilities (even those that will remain friendships).

So here I am on the cusp of something, something… I don't know what it is. Aerosmith may be a bunch of morons, but "life's a journey, not a destination" rings true with me. I'm looking forward to the possibilities, I'm looking forward to the journey. I'm looking forward to seeing her smile, and knowing that I'm partly responsible for it. I'm looking forward to kissing her (she's easily the best kisser ever. Period. Your wife or girlfriend? Sorry, no better than second place!) again. To hugging her.

I'm just looking forward to being with her, and holding her hand through as much of that journey as possible.

Sometimes life is pretty awesome. Today is one of those days.

1 We're not sure what to call it at this point.

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