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Christmas in July

imisssnow.jpgThe problem with Florida - well, one of them anyway - for me as a northern boy is that it's currently 80 degrees outside. While this may not seem like such a bad thing, I should also point out that it's December 10…

Fucking Florida though. I love walking around in shorts. I love it. The less clothes the better. But couldn't it get cold for a month out of the year? And I don't mean Florida cold (mid sixties), I mean PA cold (about 10... without wind chill). I miss that stuff. I miss snow. I miss cold. I miss shivering. Ahhh, and hot chocolate. It just doesn't have the same appeal when you're sweating in your boxer shorts before you drink it.

My dog is lazy. Would he be this lazy if it was cooler? My electric bill is high because I air condition all day, every day, to a nice room temperature of about 68. Apparently room temperature in Florida is supposed to be 75. Who knew?

I also miss ice in Florida. As a youth I remember watching some news footage of some ice storms in Florida. The dumbasses would still try to take corners at 35 MPH while screaming at the ice as they slide a hundred feet out of their way, mowing down pedestrians, garbage cans, signs, and the occasional street vendor cart along the way.

If my ice maker worked any faster I'd fill my tub with ice and sit in it for awhile, singing Christmas tunes until I got into the holiday spirit or something. And don't get me started on that. I looooove to give things to people. I hate getting stuff (well, except for money... I'll always take money). But dammit, could Xmas be any more contrived? People feel like they must get things for each other? It takes away from both sides, the giving and the receiving.

So here I sit, with Christmas in July approaching, not feeling the least bit "holiday." Perhaps I'll put some antlers on Flint. Yeah, he'd like that...

One Response to "Christmas in July"

  1. i feel your pain