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Living in Florida

As I pulled into the Albertson's (grocery chain) at noon last week Tuesday it struck me how full the parking lot was. Ahhh, old people. Boy do I dislike the "winter" season in southern Florida. I must remind myself to stock up on food between the months of April through September this year, because the old people are simply intolerable. I like old people - I really do - but that only includes the old people I'm related to. Man I don't like Florida sometimes.

Of course, as I came out of Albertson's, an utterly stunning blonde (I'm a bigger fan of brunettes) walked out of Blockbuster. As Wayne and Garth would say, "SCHWING!." Always tanned, always wearing less clothing (Florida is a warm state), and more than likely in shape and whatnot. Mmm mmm mmm. Man I love Florida sometimes.

Of course, on the way home (all of 1.5 miles), I nearly got in three or four accidents while driving the speed limit in my lane the entire time. Old people simply can not drive, and they should be tested every year after they turn 60. They're not only endangering their lives, but they are endangering my life as well. Florida, of course, will never do that as half their population is over the age of 50 (or something like that). Man I don't like Florida sometimes.

Then I returned home, changed my shorts (no, not due to the blonde), and realized tha type="a">

  • I've never turned the heat on in my car or apartment
  • I don't remember the last time I wore pants and
  • these wimpy Floridians consider a water temp of 72 to be cold
  • Man I love Florida sometimes.