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How to Pack a Hippo

According to the USPS, the proper way to pack a hippo is as follows…

You'll need:

  • 1,000-gallon tank per hippo
  • 1,000 gallons of water
  • Crane
  • 1-pound sedative
  • Soothing hippo music
  • 2 Aspirin (for you)

How to pack:

  1. Fill your tank with 800 gallons of water. Start yesterday. Remember, a medium-sized hippo takes up at least 200 gallons. (Just out of curiosity, why do you have a hippo, anyway?)
  2. Apply sedative. Take two Aspirin.
  3. Hold it, hold it - put the hippo in the tank, first. Start with soothing hippo music, followed by a large winch and crane.
  4. Now go relax in a hot bath before the forklift arrives.

Thanks for Michael C. Finke (and his wife) on rec.humor.funny.reruns.

One Response to "How to Pack a Hippo"

  1. Really funny but kinda stupid at the same time.