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The Falls

I have certain pals, let's name them Gabe and Daria, who are married and live near to me. I've been pals with them for quite some time now, six or seven years really, though until the past two years I hadn't really spent much time with them. They were an Internet pal-ship, and Daria was my PR person for my e-zine Apple Wizards.

Just now I walked over to Gabe and Daria's to say hi, and had to effectively turn around and come back because a certain individual, let's call him Jon, was coming by. You see, last year when visiting The Falls, I'd met up with Jon's girlfriend at the time… Let's call her Erika. She and I met up for lunch, because Miami is 60-90 minutes from me and thus simply visiting The Falls was an awfully expensive (time, gas) trip.

As we sat in the back of my car (it was raining) chatting after lunch and wandering around the mall, I made the comment that I thought it was cool that Erika could trust Jon to live with another woman, given his reputation and storied "womanizing" past. I figured, after all, that if I knew of this development, then surely the girlfriend of more than a few months knew of it.

She didn't.

Having stuck my foot in my mouth, I tried like hell to backpedal and assure her that it was nothing, or that I had misunderstood something. At some point I mentioned some weird little bet that Jon had made with Daria a few months prior (when he and Erika were "on a break" or something) about whether he could get this new future roommate into bed. It was a joke bet, and I understood that, but somehow in the confusion I did two very bad things: 1) told her of the bet and 2) failed to emphasize the teasing, silly nature of it.

I continued to assure Erika that I must have heard incorrectly, and then I left, and then she called and I talked to her while she was driving home. She offered to pretend that she'd found out some other way, and I told her no, that I had blundered, and that she should say I had. I wasn't going to hide from my blunder.

When I returned home, I informed Gabe and then Daria of my faux pas, again stressing that it was an honest mistake because, I thought, if I knew then everyone knew. I'm hardly in this "circle of friends," you see, so I'm the last to know anything if I even find out at all. I left out the "bet" part not intentionally - I had forgotten about it and Erika hadn't mentioned it on the drive home - but it was left out all the same.

Erika talked to Jon, I was excommunicated from the little circle for a few months. Daria and Gabe recognized that it was just a bit silly, and that indeed I hadn't done anything maliciously or on purpose, and so I'm "friends" with them again.

What continues to bug me, though, is that Jon continues to hold a grudge. A grudge gotten because his girlfriend (still) found out about his plan to move in with another girl. Something, if I may say so (and I may because it's my blog), I would expect any upright individual to have already discussed with his girlfriend. Gabe and Daria, best as I can tell, understand my point on this.

I, likewise, understand that Jon feels hurt and pissed. I've told Gabe, and Daria, several times that I feel badly, and that I'd apologize for letting it slip to her. For months I've said this, yet nothing's happened.

Tonight is Survivor night - something I used to do with Gabe, Daria, Dave, and some others. But not tonight, because Jon is over there. Because instead of telling him he's wrong, and that he should listen to my apology and just get over it, and that no, I wasn't trying to do shit to him on purpose in any way (Erika is, I'm sure, a great gal, but my type? Someone I'd want to date? No.).

The whole thing just irks me. Gabe, and especially Daria, I feel, need to step up and tell Jon to get over himself. Unless of course they're fine with the fact that I remain excluded simply because one person - Jon - hasn't somehow come around or forgiven me for what I would consider a fairly minor mistake. Daria went so far as to tell me while blading a few months ago that Jon was bitching about me, and that she thought in her head "Well, Jon, it really wasn't his fault that much." Did she bother to speak this out loud? No.

Some loyalties are stronger than others, I suppose, and I place no blame on Daria, Gabe, etc. for not standing up and saying what they believe to be true. I wish things were different. I wish people I otherwise get along with had the balls to do what was right.

Of course, maybe I just don't understand something. Maybe I'm failing in some cosmically large way to grok the full sweep of the situation. I'm quite sure this is likely to be the answer, but without any proof or evidence of this, well, I guess I'll remain ignorantly irked.