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And so we begin another episode of Survivor, one day late because someone forgot to let me know when she got back from dance so that we could do our normal "party" thing, even though Gabe is still up in NYC. Let's just jump right into it, shall we?

"If you wear it as tube top I'll wear it as a skirt." Hmmm, RobsHeartRate += 50. The four: Rob, Alex, Heidious, and Jenna are sitting around. Jenna's best friends are the other three, even outside of the game? Ahhh, the life of a model. Must be tough, no time for friends and all. Bah.

Jenna's mom has cancer, and Heidi's little confessional makes her look as though she's got cancer too. Wow: some people just don't look good after 30 days of roughing it. Y'know, roughing it: laying around getting a tan while the other three people do the work. Matt finds their behavior to be "incomprehensible." He then goes on to say that "if they are the final four, they virtually guarantee that Butch, Christy, and I won't vote for them."

And now they have money, and the women freak out. What's money gonna do for you in the Amazon? She's just being silly. These people have seen Survivor before, right? $500? C'mon. "Do we get to keep the extra?" They do this every year, people, c'mon! You know what's going on.

I like the auction show: people act funny. Heidious goes for cheesecake at $120. A covered item for $240 to Alex and is offered a trade. He keeps what he bought and gets… manioc! Instead of the lasagna he could have had. Jeff tried to get him to change his mind, but alas, he stuck with it. Oh well. Another covered basket goes up for auction and Matthew takes it for $400 after a bidding war with Jenna. He gets a cheeseburger, fries, etc. Peanut butter and chocolate, the "meal of naked women." Jenna takes it for $320. Scrambled eggs, bacon, and pancakes. Butch: $360. Rob: $380. Butch: $400 gets it. He gets a bonus set of bedding on which to have his breakfast. Some items go quickly and then we get another covered item: $200 to Alex. A steak and a baked potato. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Judi mentioned one thing I want to stick in here: in previous years, contestants shared things and did other "bonding" types of things. I saw none of that this year, as Judi pointed out. Good call, Judi.

The last item is right up Jenna's alley: a letter from home. Christy takes it for $340 after Jenna and Heidious try to win hers. Jenna cries, Heidious cries with her, and Christy cries too. Everyone does the nice thing and lets Jenna win for the rest of her money: $120. Good for her I guess. Daria still thinks she's a bitch. 🙂

Jenna comes back and says shit about Christy, like "I don't understand why she outbid me." Guess what, dammit? Her feelings, her family, etc. might be as important to her - or more so - than your own. Fucking get over yourself, woman. Daria's right about Jenna being a bitch on this one. Jeezus jimminy. Matt says that "Christy deserved the letter. Jenna was being selfish." Damn straight.

Christy wanders off to read her letter, obviously shaken and having a lot of feelings. She's obviously uplifted, she's obviously emotional, and it obviously means something to her. Jenna reads her letter and sees that her mom's brain tumor is down by 50%. That uplifts her too. Good for both of them, and shame on Jenna for being a bitch before. If your family meant that much to you that you couldn't leave them, you wouldn't have gone on Survivor.

Matt and Butch conspire while fishing: they plan to get Rob over. We'll see how that shakes out. Can Rob vote off the two hotties? Who knows. Further adding to this is Alex approaching Rob saying "if you win immunity, vote me off, and if I win, I'll vote you off." Not sure that makes much sense in light of "Jenna and Heidious will not vote for each other." In other words, "Rob, if I win immunity, I'm going to vote you out." Dumbass! If Butch and Matt can get to Rob soon, they may flip him and Matthew may be gone. After all: Matt, Butch, Rob + Christy hanging on against Jenna and Heidious? That could be it. Alex, you win the Clue Bat™ Beating of the Week.

The question booklet/test thing? Brilliant. I'm very curious to see how these are used. I paused a little on Christy's so maybe I can get some of the answers.

• Who doesn't deserve to win?
• Who smells the worst?
• Who thinks they are charming and is not?
• Who is most likely to backstab another tribe member?
• Who is the highest maintenance?
• Who is holding a secret grudge?
• Who most needs therapy?
• Who is the biggest drama king/queen?
• Who is the tribe slob?
• Who would you trust with your life?
• Which tribe member uses sex appeal as a weapon?
• Who is the most honest?
• Of the seven, who would never survive on their own?
• Who would you most like to see pose nude in a magazine?
• Who in the tribe do you have a crush on?

Rob calls it a "Slam Book" and I'll go along with him on that. Cool! Juice!

And now we have Rob and Matt talking. Rob says "the most important conversation in the entire game" and then Matt spits it back later. Ha ha. Rob spills his beans just a little and tells him the real truth. "Rob can be underhanded, but I appreciate his honesty." And boom: "Alex is the power player here." There we have it. Matt says himself that he's ignorant as to how the game is played: at least he knows it. A true turn-around for Rob? Rob, Matt, Butch, Christy?

The bigger question: can Rob win against of those people? My gut tells me that Heidious, Jenna, and Alex wouldn't vote for him. Dave, Roger, and Deena might not like him much. Daria points out that in the past, Survivors have appreciated skill (deception) at the game, and have awarded it in the end. I dunno… and we're a long way from finding out, too.

Christy is an easy take: she hates Alex. One thing though, and a bit of a pet peeve: she says "I could care less about him." Uhhh, the correct phrase would be "I couldn't care less" right? Why do so many people fuck this one up? If you could care less, it implies that you care a little right now. If you couldn't care less, well that implies that you already care about someone as little - none - as possible. Right? Who's with me?

Christy brings up a good point about Rob: can we really trust him? Who cares? You three vote for Alex. If Rob turns and votes too, then you're sitting at a 3-on-3. Then the three of you vote for Heidious or Jenna - or even Rob - at the next council. Jenna and Heidious are going to hate Rob, they might easily vote for him too. Then it'd be Jenna and Heidious vs. Butch, Matt, and Christy. So again, Christy, who cares? Vote for Alex. The three of them - Christy, Matt, and Butch - are really in a good position.

And that, my friends, is making this season of Survivor one of the best ever. There, I said it.

The immunity challenge is here. Awesome! They have to guess what the tribe put in their Slam Books. Butch would be trusted with people's lives, and that's great. Butch, Rob, Jenna + 1. Sex appeal as a weapon? Jenna. Jenna and Heidious voted for each other. Christy, Heidi, Matthew, Alex + 1. Who is the most honest? Matthew. And strangely enough, Matthew was the only one who picked himself. Matthew + 1. Who would never survive on their own? Jenna. Matthew, Rob, Christy, Butch, Alex + 1. Who needs therapy? Matthew guesses himself and picks right. Matthew: 4. Rob: 3. Everyone else: 2. Posing nude? Heidious and Jenna pick each other, but it doesn't necessarily mean much: they're just trying to guess who the winner was. Heidi, uhh, wins.

"She's just as… gorgeous" says Jenna. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wowee. Stuck up Bitches in the Amazon. Well, whatever. If they ever do pose nude perhaps they can do it in the same Playboy spread. Call it "We're Both Equally Gorgeous." Glad you think highly of yourselves for at least one thing (Jenna's not bad, Heidious is, indeed, Heidious), cuz there sure ain't much else going on inside those breast-implanted (Heidi) bodies. Matthew and Heidious don't get it right. Matt and Rob are one question away from immunity. Who's being crushed on? Everyone says Heidious except Matthew. Ugh!!!! I have nothing more to say. Oh wait, I do: ugh! Rob wins immunity.

Heidious and Alex are overjoyed that Rob has won. Hmmm, silly arrogant people! "Jenna, Heidi, Rob and I have decided that Matt is going to go home" says Matt. Rob seems to be having second thoughts, by saying "I think tonight could be one of the bigger power swings in this game." Rob brings up my earlier point: if he turns on Jenna, Heidi, and Alex, they won't vote for him in the final two. The implications are astounding.

Jenna and Heidious have "tattoos" on their cheeks, and frankly, I hope they both go lesbo and get married, because then the plight that they both are on the men of the world who are for whatever reason drawn to them will end. Ugh. Rob is asked if it's important to know your tribemates. Easy question. Alex would be surprised if he was voted out, and Christy wouldn't be too surprised. Voting begins.

Matt votes for Alex. "His reign is over" he states. Alex votes for Matt, big surprise. I figured they'd show those two votes. Rob is last and Alex gives him a weird stare. Rob puts his pen on paper really far in the top left corner. "Matt" and "Alex" are both four letter words, though "Matthew" is longer and starts with a downward stroke, not an angled stroke like "Alex." I'm not saying he couldn't move the pen after the camera shot ended, but it's more a commentary on the interesting things that we as viewers (me anyway) pick up on while watching.

The votes are being read: Alex (Matt's vote). Alex. Matt (Alex's vote). Matt. Go figure. Matt. Alex. Again, go figure. Alex. Rob always looks surprised. Wonder if he's having second thoughts right now.

And so there we are. We're sitting at a 4-on-2 situation, but two people are bound to hate Rob (Heidious, Jenna) and the other three (Matt, Butch, Christy) don't quite trust him. Rob's only chance? Get Matt to pull away a little from the others once Heidious and Jenna are gone.

Next time on Survivor… "You don't care about personal relationships, you only care about yourself" says Jenna. Duh. Rob says "please feel free to write R-O-B on your parchment tomorrow night?" A visit from a loved one is the reward challenge.

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