Heartbreak
Posted May 29th, 2004 @ 03:02pm by Erik J. Barzeski
It's a shame when reasonably good people are afraid of heartbreak. I'm not its biggest fan, but I'd rather have my heart broken than go through life without knowing the highs and lows of love on a semi-regular basis.
Sometimes simply feeling is a good thing. It doesn't matter if what you're feeling is good or bad, just that you're feeling something. Feeling lets you know that you're alive, that you're more than a collection of chemicals bound loosely together with a bit of skin.
Hearbreak? I'd take that any day over the dull numbness that most people seem to prefer. I'd watch a movie that makes me cry than one that bores me. I'd rather listen to a song that gives me goosebumps than one that does nothing but make me want to hear the song after it.
Heartbreak? Without the lows, how can you appreciate the highs? Take risks. Live, for crying out loud.
This isn't a comment on the person linked to at all. Her entry merely got me thinking about a number of my friends who are too caught up playing games, too caught up worrying about protecting themselves, that sort of thing.
Put yourself out there. Not on a street corner, but if you like a guy or a gal, tell them. Cut the crap, don't play games, and say "hey, I think you're pretty neat, we should spend time together." The worst they can say is "uhm, I like you as a friend." That's heartbreak? Nah.
Heartbreak comes later, when you've been lead on for awhile, when a person has said things to you that mean a lot, and are serious. Heartbreak comes when two weeks later they change their mind for seemingly no reason. "But I care about you, and you cared about me, you said those things to me!!!"
I've been through that. It's still a confusing time for me. But what kind of a person, what kind of a human, a living, breathing, thinking, feeling creature would I be had I not put myself in the position to fall in love (and, consequently, be burned by that)? I wouldn't trade that experiencein for anything. It reminded me that I was alive.
Donate Life
Posted 29 May 2004 at 3:12pm #
Brilliantly said, Erik. Striking that inner balance of prudent vitality is one that we all struggle to master, but in some cases all it takes is to simply let go a little, trust, and be your own person. You'll never regret sincerity.
Posted 29 May 2004 at 5:46pm #
Bringing On The Heartbreak
I am going to have to agree with Erik when it comes to heartbreak. I'd rather have my heart broken than go through life without knowing the highs and lows of love on a semi-regular basis. If anyone knows anything...
Posted 29 May 2004 at 8:22pm #
truly living
NSLog(); - Heartbreak: Sometimes simply feeling is a good thing. It doesn't matter if what you're feeling is good or...
Posted 29 May 2004 at 11:24pm #
Sometimes the reminders that I'm alive make me want to die.
Posted 29 May 2004 at 11:28pm #
Very well put. Def. agreee. Personally, I just need to gather up that strength to get off that street corner and tell her. And oh, sure - honestly whats the worst thing that can happen? Its foolish of me not to do anything.
Posted 29 May 2004 at 11:31pm #
I don't regret ever having loved or been in relationships (even ones that didn't work out). But I do regret dating for the sake of dating, which is (in my mind) equivalent to "knowing the highs and lows of love on a semi-regular basis" (if that's the only reason you're dating someone). If I expect heartbreak will be the outcome of dating a particular person right from the start, I don't think it's worth putting myself out there and taking such a big risk. I've been through it upwards of a dozen times and I've had enough. Lord knows I love the feeling of someone close to me, someone I can depend on, someone to love and care for… I know He'll lift me up to someone when I'm ready and I hope it's soon, but I don't need it to be soon. I don't see the need (anymore) to pass the time with people I don't see a future with, either. I'm tired of wasting my time and energy falling in and out of love, that's all. And BTW, to your friend over at Carpeaqua (I hate having to register to leave comments)… I don't think he got the message of my "Wise Choices" post. It's awesome to date people you already have a strong connection with; that's not BS dating — that's real.
Posted 30 May 2004 at 9:12am #
I disagree a great deal that "dating for the sake of dating" is the same as "knowing the highs and lows of love on a semi-regular basis." They're very, very different.
Clearly, if you suspect heartbreak may be the end result, you'd want to approach something with caution, but that doesn't mean it's not worth a shot. Your future spouse may surprise you, after all. Proceed with caution, but proceed nonetheless.
Perhaps this is where we're different, Jamie, but I don't see falling into and out of love as a waste of neither time nor energy. As I said, it's one of the best life-affirming things out there, and affirming your existence as a human being is not a waste of time or energy.
Posted 30 May 2004 at 9:13pm #
I really really liked your entry... it made me think that maybe, just maybe, i should tell that guy that i like him a whole lot, and although i might be setting myself up for disappointment, i can console myself with the fun that i've had for the past 6 months! Thanx!
Posted 31 May 2004 at 1:40am #
Well put. I've decided it's usually better to know that to wonder what might have been.
It's hard, though, the times you know heartbreak is the most likely output. I'm not talking about the "whoa is me" negative crap, I'm talking about the "she's moving to another state; why didn't I meet you sooner" crap.
Yeah, life sucks sometimes.
Posted 31 May 2004 at 5:16am #
Heartbreak psychic
I think it's just a bit suspicious that the day after I post this, Erik's brilliantly put piece about Heartbreak appears.
Why is this relevant? Because (1) wound up being a "not".
What does that mean?
Well, the person who I'd say is the cause (I'm qu...
Posted 12 Jun 2004 at 4:28pm #
This post is for me....
Posted 22 Sep 2007 at 11:53pm #
lol, thanks alot for this post.
it makes what ever I am dealing with seem insignificant you know? 😆