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Remembering Jokes

Recently, my favorite joke has been a rather simple one. Apologies in advance if you're religious or offended by jokes about stereotypes.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a church. They see an altar boy lighting some candles. The priest says "Boy, I'd like to screw that boy." The rabbi asks "Out of what?"

Hardy har.

I'm terrible with jokes because I don't put any effort into remembering them, largely because I never figure I'm going to have anyone to hear them.

Just saying that, I remember one a relative just told me about Michael Jackson: Did you hear about the new burger McDonald's is going to offer? It's called the MJ Special, and it's 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns.

Eh. Probably won't be repeating that one very much. It's just not very funny… My brother-in-law told me one about recycling MJ into Legos so little boys could finally play with him that, likewise, wasn't very funny.

So, what the hell: got any good jokes? Maybe I can remember a few and tell some golf buddies.

2 Responses to "Remembering Jokes"

  1. The only joke I can ever remember off the top of my head is a really old one - you might not end up repeating it, anyway. 😉

    Q: Why does Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his porch?

    A: Because he likes to greet everyone with a handshake!

    I'll have to give this some more thought, I know I've got better ones.

  2. When Farah Fawcett got to heaven, and went through the pearly gates, she was greeted by God.

    "Wow!" exclaimed the Holy Ghost. "We really enjoyed your work here. Especially Charlie's Angels! I still have a poster in my office of you with that red bikini!"
    Farah is a little taken aback. "Thank you, Lord..."

    Jehovah goes on, "Well, I have a special reward for you. I'm prepared to grant you one wish. Have anything in mind?"

    Not one to act selfish and change God's opinion of her, Farah thinks for a second and decides upon a wish. "I'd like for all the children of the world to be safe and sound forever."

    "Done!" exclaims the Heavenly Father. He snaps, and Michael Jackson appears next to Farah.