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A week after spending five hours on the water and in the Florida sun, my skin is finally starting to blister. I feel like human bubble wrap, with lots of tiny little clear bubble blisters all over me. Woo! My new pickup line is gonna be "Hey baby, wanna pop my bubbles?" José and I […]

I haven't gotten a bill for my cable modem service in a few months. No surprise, then, to find out that the bill was at $160 and pending a disconnect! Silly me. Unfortunately, Adelphia chose to alert me to this fact by having a recorded message ("Hi, this is Taylor Johnson from Adelphia. Please call […]

Sometimes, when I'm bored or relaxing, I like to read the personals on match.com, Yahoo! Personals, eMode Matchmaking, etc. Occasionally you come across a gem like this: where do i start...im 18 years old 5'2" 105pds very athletic; brown hair green/hasel eyes. i enjoy pritty much anything surfing,or bodyboarding at the beach, working out, running […]

Question: What's the longest stay you've had in a hospital? My Answer: Overnight, when I had my tonsils removed at age six. My family is typically very healthy. The last stay I had in the hospital was six hours, which is about five hours and forty-five minutes too long to reset a dislocated shoulder. I […]

A few years ago Aerosmith performed with, I forget, N*Sync or the Backstreet Boys during the Super Bowl. Now they're opening with Britney Spears on the first NFL game of the season or something like that? I just saw the commercial a few days ago. Hrmph. I didn't know you spelled Aerosmith S-E-L-L-O-U-T-S. Lame. The […]

Today I bought some light tackle to complement the semi-light fishing rod and reels my dad sent down with my mother on her recent visit. You can see it all here: Lovely, isn't it? The non-lure goodie bag was filled with Berkley Trilene (8 lb and 10 lb test, the 10 in "invisible green"), the […]

Question: How many drinks per hour put you over the edge? My Answer: I drank a fourth of Jack in half an hour and was still coherent, upright, and really quite well. Alcohol doesn't seem to have much of an effect on me. I drink for taste, which means to say I typically order a […]

I'm in favor of free speech. I'm in favor of free speech all the time. Not sometimes; always. The link above describes the case of a comic book store clerk who was arrested and faces up to two years in prison for being the clerk at the time a cop purchased a comic book containing […]

I am apparently one nasty fuck. And here I would have thought that honor would belong to Roseanne Barr or something…

Question: Have you ever been in a car accident? Caused one? My Answer: Yes and no. One time, riding in the passenger seat of a pickup truck after grabbing some hockey gear in Erie, we crested a hill and began going downwards towards a red light. I said "red." "Red!" "RED!!!" and the driver swerved […]

I watched The Life of David Gale yesterday. Scratch that, two days ago. It was fairly interesting, albeit a bit slow. As soon as Constance was known to have leukemia, I kind of figured out the ending, and the only suspense was in whether he would actually die or not (I figured he would). Kate […]

I forgot to point out a few days ago that Bravo is showing every episode of West Wing at 11pm every night. Or something like that. Anyway, woo! I'm recording them all, and I'll certainly try to watch them before the TiVo fills up and explodes. What will happen this year on West Wing? I […]

There's a strip near where I live that features two short sections of road (broken up by stoplights) and a longer third. Tonight, at the start of the first section, I pulled up (in my Aztek mind you) next to a guy and a girl in a Mustang. I nodded, then proceeded to floor it […]

Question: If your spouse cheated on you, what would you do? My Answer: I'd like to say I'd leave her immediately, but frankly, I know I probably couldn't. If I'm married, then I'm committed, and if she's cheated, she's either scum (I'd leave her) and that act would open my eyes, or she and I […]

Question: If you could take all that you know now about life, and return as either a man or a woman of equal attractiveness, which would you choose? My Answer: I'd return as a woman. As a guy currently, I believe I would possess the necessary knowledge to be able to manipulate men to achieve […]